Don't Look Down!

Today, I took X-man to the Y. It's the first time since school started where he's been in the big kid playroom. He was excited to go though because it had been forever. The last time we were there, he tripped and fell off the climber and got a small scrape/bruise in the middle of his back. They texted me during my work out (of course, I was in the pool sans phone). But they gave him ice and cuddles until I was there 10 minutes later (we got lucky on the timing).

I signed him in and he went in to play with a bunch of kids I knew from MMO. When I've been there to walk the track, do some PT exercises and focus on some core items over the last month, I've seen a lot of MMO parents coming in for Body Pump and Body Attack.

I ran into our neighbors today, and their daughter was excited about seeing X-man in the playroom. Then I went upstairs and got on an upright bike. I tried to do my pre-surgery workout of doing a hill setting on level 10. It was fine, until I got to the 5 bars of "peak" performance. Then the pedals got so heavy that my recovering foot couldn't handle it. I took the bike back to a manual setting and did a 15-minute workout. Then I got off, cleaned it off and went into the track to do a 30-minute walk.

As I made my way around the track, I noticed a bunch of people working out like mad. The YMCA has started a Crossfit group, and this looked to be the more experienced group. I knew two of the ladies from MMO. They were awesome. Strong, fit, healthy. Seriously, sweaty and beautiful.

I sighed and remembered when I, too, used to do crazy things with kettle balls and jump ropes. It was a huge dose of self-pity, so I vowed not to look down when I walked around for the next 30 minutes. I was doing what I could do. They were doing what they can do. (Lord knows, I couldn't do the pull ups, even with the stirrup bands.) The plan to look away worked maybe 1 out of 3 times. But in the end, I felt pretty good about my 45 minutes of cardio. And, I start working out with Kari on Thursday at 11 a.m. One step at a time, right?

I walked over to the weight training area and did some arm and shoulder work. I ran into Special K. Then I did some walking lunges and some stretching and ran off to get X-man, who had managed to fall down again. He said that his back hurt a lot, but he wouldn't let me look under his shirt either there or at home. The Child Watch people said they looked at it but couldn't see any kind of bruising. They said he was mostly surprised that he'd fallen.

But it was a successful workout. I felt pretty comfortable. Three weeks ago, my PT had me do a two-legged calf lift, transfer weight to my sore foot and then lower down. I couldn't do it. Now I can do it -- on a 1/2 of a foam roller, and I can pick up my foot. We're probably around 60% back to where I was before the injury. If we can get me to extra weight baring for things like pushing the heavy bike pedals and jumping at a volleyball net and jogging, I'll be ever so happy.

Franken-foot

I had my post-op appointment with Dr. Kluesner at 10 a.m today. I was feeling pretty good about my crutch abilities until I got to the front door of Christie (we parked at a spot next to the handicap spots so it wasn't too far away from the door). Then there was an older gentleman there to greet us and he offered a wheel chair, and to my surprise, I took it. And now I'm glad I did.

We were welcomed to our appointment and I popped out of the wheelchair and into the exam chair. One of the nurses asked me health-related questions like what kind of drugs I was on (see how they repeat that no matter how many times you see them). Except that they left off one of the two drugs that I have a problem with, which is weird because I'd been in that office six time to see him and it's always been on it, although the second time, I had to fix it because they'd written down Iodine instead of Codeine. The nurse (she was new) immediately freaked out that I'd had a drug problem and hadn't told anyone before surgery. When I said that it was on the list for every prior appointment and that it was on the list that I gave both Carle and Kluesner's offices (that they repeated back to me) several times the prior week, she just went silent.

Then another nurse came in and started cutting off my splint. She left the last bit of cloth for the doctor to do, because I guess some people pass out.

I'm not a terribly squeamish person. Blood doesn't bother me. Needles don't bother me. But for some reason, I always thought that when I was getting a shot, I shouldn't watch. So I look away when they take blood or I get a flu shot. But today, I was reclined while they cut the heavy splint off and I didn't look. But I had MacTroll take photos.  you an a see that I did a pretty good job of keeping the swelling down. My little toes look like sausages, but that the incision's pretty long. Still, I don't think I look too crazy.

The close up reveals many, many staples. He had to restructure both my peroneal tendons, remove my extra bone and he ended up finding that I had two ligaments that were totally torn and had to sew them back together. He took (or had someone take) pictures of my surgery. I think when I go back in two weeks, I'll see if he'll share them with me. I'm kind of curious about what it looked like in there versus what I've seen on the Internet.

The doctor pulled out my drain, which was an odd feeling. There's this tube hanging out of your body, and so I breathed in and when I exhaled, he quickly pulled a few inches of tubing out. He put pressure on it to stop any bleeding and then it was done. But there was kind of this "zip" feeling during the pull and a slight burn, as things inside my leg that I'm not used to feeling actually touched a foreign object inside my skin.

The hard part about this appointment was actually the casting. The nurse raised the chair and had me dangle my legs off of it. This was the first time besides going to the bathroom and my two quick shower chair situations, where I had my leg below my heart. She moved my foot back so that my knee and my ankle were both in a 90-degree angle so she could cast. Everything in my leg just got tightened. And it protested. It didn't hurt, it just felt like it couldn't move any further, but then it did. Suddenly, I got really hot and lightheaded. I told the new nurse, and she ran and got me a cool rag to put on my head and a glass of water to drink.

I leaned against the chair back sideways for support while the nurse wrapped my leg as quickly as possible. I chose a blue cast. Then I chilled out in the office until I felt like I wasn't going to pass out. I'm not sure if it was the feeling of getting my foot pushed to its limits, that I hadn't really been upright in a half of a week or being high on the pain meds that did it, but it was a bit disconcerting.

Overall, I've been kind of drugged a lot for the pain. I'm still supposed to remain on bed rest with my foot up to control the swelling for four. It was been nice that my aunt and uncle came over and brought dinner last night. KTDID has been over twice. I feel like a normal person when she's around. She makes me laugh and always has such good stories. A woman on the library board sent me a little get well book to read today, which was also very sweet. But mostly, it's been me watching Mad Men and rotating my leg a bit so it "cooks" evenly. :-)

Hopefully, MacTroll will run out and get a sharpie so any visitors can swing on down to the basement and sign my cast. I've never had one before. This is new to me. Although, I think we'll avoid putting any pressure on the outside of my leg near the incision. The cast is not as cushy as the splint, which is good in that it's not as bulky to haul around on the crutches, but bad in that any misplaced touching near the tender side is uber painful and makes me jump or shout (as MacTroll found out when we got home and I was trying to maneuver it out of the back seat effectively and touched it against a metal bit on the back of the driver's seat.)

This is my Big, Big Foot

I reported for surgery at 6:10 a.m. at the Carle Surgery Center. They immediately gave MacTroll a number and a pager. The number would let him track where I was (pre-op, surgery, recovery, when the doctor would be coming to see him, etc.) on a big screen TV. The pager was for when he could come see me. 

I believe that nurses and medical assistants make or break your stay when it comes to health care, and the staff there was very, very nice. The first thing they did was have me undergo my second pregnancy test of the week because apparently there have been people who have popped up pregnant between their pre-op appointment and their surgery, but I'm getting used to how repetitive things are just to catch when people aren't getting their stories straight. By surgery date, I'd also realized when they got to the drug list to just say, "I'm only taking my iron and Vitamin D supplements. I stopped taking everything else a week ago."It was the fourth time in the last week, I'd been asked those questions and it goes faster than running through each individual med I might "sometimes" be on like Claritin or Exedrin Migraine, etc. 

I got undressed and into my hospital gown. I had chosen to wear an elastic wasted band skirt and a tank top with a built-in bra that day to make life after surgery easier. And it was a good choice, but you'll see why in a minute.

I met the anesthesiologist, Dr. Mendenhall. He asked if I had any questions or concerns. I told him that I didn't get sick the last time I had anesthesia, so I hope I wouldn't this time. They gave me some anti-nausea meds in my IV just in case. They also gave me an antibiotic. I did mention to the nurse that I got really cold, like to the point of my teeth chattering and my body shaking, when I woke up last time. 

Dr. Kluesner came in and met MacTroll. Then he had me repeat to him what work he was going to be doing on my foot that day. (He said he knew, but he needs me to tell him to be sure I understood what the procedure included.) I go through the items we had listed the week before and he seemed pleased that I understood what was going to happen so well. He marked up my leg and signed it. He expected the surgery to take two hours. 

Then they wheeled me down the hall into surgery. Kluesner was already there setting some things up. I transferred from the gurney onto the operating table. He asked me who was taking care of X-man today and I told him KTDID. Then they put a mask on my face and three breaths later I was pretty much out cold. 

I woke up to another nurse at my side in recovery. She was talking to me very gently. I could hear a little boy on the other side of the curtain waking up from his procedure. He was very sweet and happy with the nurses, and he was making me smile. My nurse got me some crackers and some water and then my teeth started chattering, so she blew up this giant plastic blanket of hot air over my body. I ate another cracker and then I fell asleep again. I was kind of in and out of it. And she'd ask me to tell me how my pain was and encourage me to eat another cracker and help me drink some water. I was at a 7-8 for a while after I woke up, so I got some morphine when the oral stuff wasn't enough. 

At 12:10 p.m., MacTroll got to come see me. My surgery had taken longer than they thought because the damage was worse than the MRI showed, and my muscle in my leg had moved into the area where the tendons were supposed to be, so the doc had to not only cut away scar tissue and recreate both my tendons, but he also had to cut away some muscle. MacTroll said the incision was longer, too. But Kluesner said everything came together well, so he expected me to have an excellent, but slow recovery. 

MacTroll helped me get dressed. This is what is on my leg and there's no size pants that I own or underwear that would allow this massive foot to go through the leg hole, so you know -- I went commando, no problem. 

The "Loosey" room in the basement is working out great. I had trouble getting up the one step in the garage to get into the house, so I just turned around, put down my crutches and skooched on my butt while dragging my leg along the floor from the garage to the basement stairs. Then I slowly skooched down the stairs. When I got to the bottom, I used the railing to pull myself up on my good leg, because hopping down those stairs would have been painful. 

Mactroll handed me the crutches and I made it to the bed with my wedge pillow, put up my leg, put a ice pack behind my knee (it cools the blood that then goes down to your ankle) and then took my pain pills. That plastic bulb on the top in the picture is drainage. MacTroll is draining it into a hospital-provided measuring cup and then writing down what's coming out of my leg. 

I want to thank Allison for loaning me her mini fridge. It's come in very handy. I also want to thank Janet from the library for bringing us lasagna dinner last night, and to Meghan for dropping off the awesome get well present this a.m. Chocolates and Fozzie Bear mugs are always welcome. It's also very nice that our neighbors have been offering to help by setting up play dates with X-man. My mom is here this weekend so the boys can go to Orchard Days and jump on inflatables, while I rest. But I want to give a big thanks to MacTroll and again to KTDID for taking such incredible care of me and X-man yesterday. 

I have no mobility right now. It hurts to get up and crutch my way over to the bathroom and back. Plus, I'm a little dizzy on the crutches because of the pain meds. But I think I'm getting it down. I'll be kind of in this haze for two weeks or so. If my blogging is sporadic, you'll know why. 

Afraid of gross stuff? Don't look!

I have intermediate-level tears in both my peroneal brevis and peroneal longus tendons. The MRI shows loads of fluid and scar tissue behind my ankle bone. Scar tissue that will have to be removed.

So, in the plus column, I'm not crazy. And it might have taken four opinions to get to an accurate diagnosis, but I'm glad I advocated for myself.

Right now, it looks something like this inside my foot:

Dr. Kluesner won't know how bad it is until he gets in there and sees it. I was also apparently gifted "extra bone" with a sharp pointy bit in my foot, which could also be causing some of my issues. He'll have to go in and sew up the tendons and if they're over 50 percent damaged, he'll have to sew them together. My condition is chronic, so putting me back in a boot won't do anything for the long-term. I'd start doing normal Loosey activity and "ouch." And there is usually an 85 percent success rate. It won't ever be perfect, but feeling even 50 percent better than right now would be awesome.

I'm trying to schedule my surgery for September. But it also means that I'll have to find someone to help with X-man after school when MacTroll's not here. Some place where either there's a babysitter after he gets home from school or he goes to someone's house in the neighborhood within walking distance.

And I now have to go back to getting my house ready to sell, because apparently, if I have the surgery in September I won't be wearing a NORMAL-sized shoe until just before Christmas.

Until then, I'm to wear my ankle brace as much as possible and to stay on even surfaces doing whatever doesn't hurt.

The fear is that if I tried to do anything high intensity I could rupture both of the tendons.