Insanity

There are a few words in the English vocabulary that make my skin crawl: anniversary, cummerbund, zit, slacks, blouse, etc.

There are two phrases that drive me crazy with annoyance. One in particular, that my husband uses non-stop. "I'm going to hit the bathroom." The other is, "Can we be adults about this?" (Which, for the record, MacTroll has never used.)

The first time the second phrase made the hair on the back of my neck stand up, I was in college and some guy that my freshman roommate had been doing something with while she partied away her weekends was basically whining into our answering machine. He'd done something stupid and insensitive. And in response, she'd gotten mad, and spoken her mind to not only him, but to her close girlfriends (who also happened to be partying with his close guy friends, so I'm sure he was most annoyed that his friends were having to hear about how he was a jackass). 

And so I began to notice that when people used the phrase, "Can we be adults about this?" It was usually when the person who speaks those words has done something utterly juvenile in the first place. And on that observation alone, I immediately discount that person as having any valid complaints and not worthy of the seconds or minutes that they want to put into "fixing" whatever was wrong so that they can feel, on some emotional level, like they're okay. 

It's kind of like lying to someone, feeling guilty, and then coming clean -- to make yourself feel better, while you make the other person feel terrible (insert half or more of the politicians caught in any kind of public relations scandal). You effed up. You should live with the terrible burden. Why hurt the person (or people) who didn't do anything wrong with your admission? Oh, yeah, because you want forgiveness, so you can start feeling better about yourself, which to me, is another selfish act on top of the initial selfish act. You're human. Try to figure it out and make it better. Tell the truth when it's required and live with the consequences of your actions. It's all you can really do.

The other problem is the "Can we be adults about this?" often implies the person NOT saying those words is acting irrational when, more likely, their emotions are right on target. They're feeling something. They're not shutting down and suppressing. They're letting you know that they're angry, sad, annoyed, in disbelief, etc. That's how it's supposed to work with someone that you have in your life. You're supposed to be able to have emotional responses. You're supposed to talk in I statements and talk about how you feel -- postive or negative. And if someone tells you that your I statements make them feel in some other way than you're feeling -- that's not on you. That's on them. 

But it doesn't help your ass get out of the fire that's for damn sure. You're just stuck in there with them looking at you like you're this demon from hell, when, really, you don't feel in your heart that way at all.

But they're telling you how you feel over and over -- because to them that's the truth they want. Because that makes them feel better.

Even thought it's not the truth you've spoken, and that ain't right. 

A 50 Percent Failure Rate is Successful?!?!

This article came up in my facebook updates today and I really adored it. It's about how fear of failure is what keeps people from doing and trying new things. 

I had more inspirational things to say and life connections to make, but in the middle of the day I fell asleep writing this blog (see how motivated I was?)... and then one of my cats slept on me. And when I woke up I had apparently, somehow, reposted only half of it... and the rest of it was gone. And I had to jump up and go make 2 dozen cakeballs to unleash on the HMD Tae Kwon Do folks.

So, here's the highlight of the Runner's World article so that you, too, can feel a bit better about your life goals and achievements (hopefully), or if you're like me, you begin to realize, that it's okay to strive for things and not quite reach them all the time. It teaches you more about yourself and your goal when you fail. And each time I try, I can honestly say that I'm glad I gave it a shot. 

"This reminded me of some time I spent recently doing some goals and vision work, (try goaltender at goals.lululemon.com–it's great) imagining my life 10 years out, five years out, and one year out. It was a real mind-opener for me. The site explains that failing to reach your goals 50 percent of the time is a good indication that you are motivated and challenged. That was a "huh?" moment for me. Failing 50 percent of the time to me sounds like I'm not working hard enough. Or perhaps I'm not putting myself out there far enough to risk that 50 percent failure rate. Oh. Maybe I'm more willing to write down goals that sound achievable or are at least in the zip code of my comfort zone.

These thoughts collided at Bible Study and I wrote in all caps across the top of my journal "THE VULNERABILITY OF THE TRY." We all do it in some way, we hold back because to try would expose us, make us vulnerable. When we try something new, make our thoughts or goals known, take on a new project or a position of leadership, we become vulnerable. Suddenly, it is stated, for the record, that (fill in your name) is trying (fill in the thing)."

Sound familiar? It does to me...

Run Rudy Run

So on Monday, I ended my membership at Curves. Earlier that morning, I visited Quigs' gym and really liked it. It's more of a full-service gym with child care, if I need it, free classes all day long and lots of machines. I went on Monday and spent some time on the elliptical and then did some upper body work on the weight machines, followed by some abdominal and lower back work on the ball in the stretch room. I was leaving as Quigs was coming in.

On Tuesday, I went back. I was a little sleep deprived, but I made it down there and managed not to fall off the elliptical. I did 20 minutes and finished as Quigs got done with her workout (she started way before me because she's like the Energizer bunny), then I did mostly lower body work on the weight machines. I love that I see her there, but I have to remember we're not there to chat. We're there to get our crap done and get on with our day.

Today was a day off. I spent it cleaning and organizing the garage, doing laundry and dishes and all the rest of that house hold stuff. We're having a kids stuff swap at my house in October, so Freak dropped off a lot of cool toddler toys and I wanted a clean place to store them.

Tomorrow I'm going back to the Fitness Center, and I'm remembering my earphones. I'm going to do 25 minutes on the elliptical. I know I can do more, but it feels more tiring than walking for an hour outside. I have an iPod and a personal TV on my machine, but I'm still not into the groove, yet. Give it a couple of weeks and it'll come back to me. Tomorrow should be good because I'll have a new playlist of music that Misc so sweetly sent me in the mail today on CD. 

And if you have no idea where the title of my blog comes from, I linked it to the movie on YouTube. It's one of my favorites.