I'm carrying a slew of thoughts around in my head this week regarding size. So, you may read about a lot of them in the coming days.
Right now I'm focused on physicality. Tomorrow, I've made an appointment to go in and get my right lower back/hip/buttocks checked out. I've had issues there since I was 16 and injured the muscles in a soccer game (I used to play keeper for anyone who didn't know me then). I ended up tearing a number of muscles, which brought my soccer career to a temporary hold and earned me months of physical therapy. I could stand or I could lie down comfortably. Moving my leg to sit down or drive was terribly painful. I ended up taking my ACT standing up in the back of the cafeteria and standing through 6 hours of class each day. The x-rays the orthopedic surgeon took then said that nothing was broken, it was all muscular. But over the years, it's continued to give me problems. Of course, when I'd have issues and see a doctor (3 of them in the past 10 years), they'd always tell me that the problem was muscular (no x-rays were taken or actual tests given at these other appointments) and that if I'd lose 50 lbs the problem was likely to go away. Then they'd prescribe muscle relaxants and vicodin, tell me to rest for a couple of days and then start an walking program and watch what I ate. (But no actual guidance on how to do either.)
The same thing happened when I injured my IT bands training for a marathon in 2001 (my attempt to try to be more active). I strained them running on concrete during the practice marathon (I finished 23 of 26.2 miles before calling MacTroll, who rushed me home to ice them and then basically had to half carry me to the doctor's office the next morning, where I was given another 3 months of PT). That therapist said I was restricted to running 5k or less and gave me a list of stretches to do.
Before I got pregnant, I noticed my left foot hurt below the pinky toe. It made, what we referred to in yoga classes, "crunchies" whenever the foot was massaged or turned a certain way. So, I went to a podiatrist who told me that my obesity was causing tendonitis in my left foot and that I would need to wear comfortable shoes (as the inserts he built didn't help) and lose 50 lbs. in order to fix it.
Mmmm, do you see a magic number here?
So now I've lost over 83 lbs, and guess what? Both the areas are still tender. I'm guessing 50 lbs wasn't the magic number, and I'm feeling kind of angry at myself and at those doctors for just dismissing the problems as "just" being obesity related. Now that I'm older, and more familiar with my body, I'm better prepared to be my own advocate. Before, when they dismissed me because of my weight, I would get down on myself and beat myself up about how I was breaking myself for food, and I learned not to complain about them again, even though they still bothered me.
Here's hoping I can come to some kind of diagnosis and solution for both problems. They've both been managed through massage when the pain starts to peak. But massage always tends to only be a short-term solution. I don't want to just take ibuprofen for the pain. I want to know what's wrong and what I can do fix whatever is damaged in those areas through PT or personal training or pilates or yoga or whatever.
I need some answers. Is it just me? Or has anyone else ever felt like their physical complaints were just swept under the rug by the medical community because of their weight?
3 comments:
Are you unfamiliar with the Fat-o-sphere? Doctors that blame all health problems on weight and otherwise don't treat the problem are a huge topic on the fat acceptance blogs. At BlogHer this summer I met Kate Harding of Shapely Prose and bought her book, Lessons from the Fat-o-sphere, which has a chapter on finding body positive doctors.
Page 52: "Fat people don't even get to have normal illnesses or accidents just like thin people, you see. Even if we hurt ouselves working out, or take a spill on some ice, well, that's because we're fat and clumsy. Rx: lose weight. It can start to seem like losing weight is always the only remedy a doctor will offer - or at least inevitably the first prescription, regardless of a patient's complaint."
I used to have that problem, but since I was diagnosed with several things that can contribute to weight gain/inability-to-lose, the docs have been a lot nicer about it. (Having had these things for a lot longer than the diagnosis, however, I know its my own laziness.)
Recently, I was having a hip problem and I actually offered to the doctor that maybe it would get better if I lost weight. She said maybe and then proceeded to talk about my options. I was surprised she didn't dismiss it immediately as a fat problem.
It's really hit or miss, but I do see that its a big problem. Even bigger though is the prescription to lose weight without any kind of guidance. I don't think I've once been recommended to see a nutritionist/dietitian.
I think I swept my own medical issues under the rug because I was ashamed of my weight and assumed that I would be told to lose weight if I went to a doctor.
I had to lose 70 pounds before I finally felt comfortable enough to schedule a physical for myself. And it was my first one since the mandatory high school visit.
Post a Comment