For the last week and a half I have been "in the box" again at Carle. What does this mean? It means that outside of pre-packaged calorie controlled meals (oatmeal, soup, protein shakes and entrees) I've been eating only fruits and vegetables. I cook them with no oils (Pam is okay). There are also a few very low calorie condiments that come into play. I can eat as much as I want -- as long as my food consists of only those things. At the same time as I've been doing this, I've been taking an emotional eating class.
It's interesting to be in an emotional eating class, while you've pretty much blockaded yourself from the foods that make you binge when stressed. I'm remembering what it's like to use food only as fuel and not as pleasure. At first it felt very strict. Now it feels very liberating. No monkey on my back.
Why am I in the box again. Well, here's the deal. I put a stake in the ground at 165 lbs and swore that if I gained the 10 lbs to get there, I'd do something about it. And it would happen, a few times. Usually, when I had my period. I'd fight my weight back to a 160 for the next three weeks and then fall off the wagon and go back up. It was aggravating, and I was getting tired of the same old fight over a few pounds.
Then I had to stop running, and my body changed, even though my weight didn't change that much. My shoulders and arms are a bit more toned, but my ass -- it got bigger. How do I know this? I couldn't fit in 3 pairs of the jeans I could fit in last year. I couldn't even button them. Grrrr.
So two weeks ago, I went to weigh in and found myself at 170 up from 164.5. Yes, it was the day I got my period. But still, I was horribly frightened. So here I am two weeks later, reporting 163 as my weight. According to math, 4 lbs of it was water weight from that good old monthly bloat. I'm suddenly able to wear one more pair of jeans. Now I just need another 5 to get off so I can fit into my gray cords and my last pair of jeans and I'll feel back on track.
What I'm hoping to get out of the emotional eating class, is how to stay determined to keep out the crap. Because it slowly crawled back in. Unlearning behaviors you've had for 30 years is hard. So rather than beating myself up, I'm trying to adapt.
I'll let you know how it goes.
As for now, I supposedly ran my fastest 5k ever today at a 28:31. But I have to admit I haven't calibrated the Nike plus program with GPS yet. So, um, I'll have to do that tomorrow. Then run another one some other time. But it felt nice to hear. I'm signed up to do the Halloween 5.5 mile trail run at Allerton on Halloween. I'm excited about it. Hope the weather isn't gross.