Tuesday, March 15, 2011


I've spend a stupid amount of time noticing women's bodies. Mostly because I think my perception of my own is completely distorted. And, most likely, if you're a girl, your perception of your own body is probably all messed up, too.

I'm overweight when I think I'm thin. I'm thin when I think I'm fat. My skin is never good. My hair always seems too dry or too thin. It's weird. I don't ever apply "good/bad" to other people's bodies. Mostly, I wonder what parts of theirs that they have that I'd like to borrow or model myself after.

I used to take a class at the Fitness Center that I loved. Then the teacher moved to another gym. Every week, I'd jump and bounce and think, "If I do this enough, maybe I'll look a fraction like her." I say a fraction not because I think I'm so far under, but because I know that her genes, as we're not related, are completely different from mine.

Then I get magazines to fitness clothing companies like Title 9 and Athleta. And I look at the women and I think, um, no. I have no interest in looking like them. Too little body fat. Yes, definitely fit. But I like some curve with my tone, if that makes any sense?

Then I look at People or Victoria's Secret and I see skin on bone. No, that's obviously not my ideal either. So, I kept searching.

I found this web site called The Body Gallery the other day, where you can put in your height and weight (and clothing sizes if you wish) and find photos of women who claim to share these characteristics with you. I put in my numbers and clothing sizes and there were no samples. Then I started playing with heights and weights, just to see what it was like.

It works out a lot better to see real people rather than try to obtain the same information about celebrities of some sort. Because let's face it. In my age/body area, I have a crazy body crush on Kate Winslet. She's done some wonderful work with hers. She's long and lean and strong and not a hint of manly Hans and Franz. Plus, she's age appropriate for me.

But maybe it's just me who has this fascination with women's forms. It's not that I'm judging. I'm just looking. Because mine is, whatever it is, and genetic code and eating right and exercise dictates how it will look. I just wish, I saw it the way everyone else does sometimes.

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