Monday, May 4, 2009

A Temptation and the Turndown

When I first started working with my nutritionist I craved things like cheese and crackers. I wanted a crunch. I wanted some fat. I've gone the last 8 weeks without having any craving, although I still have nightmares that I eat outside the box. Thursday will be my 11th week completed in the program. 

But right now, right now, in the sea of my exhaustion with school and getting stuff done around the house all I want is a freaking skillet cookie.

Unfortunately, I can't have one. I will probably never have one again. But, what I can do is go downstairs and make myself some chocolate mousse out of HMR shakes and no-sugar, instant, non-fat Jello pudding.

Doesn't that just sound yummy in comparison? Sigh. I think this is what it's like. You get through the occasional "want" and focus on the "need." 

I'm hungry, and a little bit thirsty. But rather than eating 1200 calories, I can eat 100. Maybe I'll just have an apple. I'm feeling a bit lazy. Maybe I'll just go to sleep and get over it. Tomorrow is a new day. 

But this week, I think I'll buy more than one chocolate Benefit bar... just in case. 


3 comments:

Lindsay said...

Suggestion for a super tasty "healthy" treat that tastes delicious--take low fat chocolate graham crackers, put some fat free cool whip between them, wrap in plastic wrap and freeze. It's like a guiltless ice cream sandwich.

Hang in there, the cravings will subside. You LOOK amazingly healthy and amazingly beautiful, and I'm very proud and in awe of all your hard work.

SunnyD said...

Thanks, Lindsay. I'm going to keep it with some other "preparation" recipes I have for when I'm allowed to eat off program. Since it's done by my weight and not by length of time... it could be a while...

Laura Wells said...

I know the way I eat is different but I feel your struggle. Sometimes after a meal, I am still starving. I want ice cream or a cookie or a giant piece of fluffy bread with butter but I've eaten all the carbs my body can handle and really the only choice is nuts, cheese or meat. All yummy sometimes, but not when day after day they are the only choices. I love the graham cracker idea. I just might try it.