So, here's the thing about losing mass quantities of weight, when you get to the end you're not really done. It isn't a lie, like I thought it was. Maintaining is much harder than losing, (once you figure out how to get the damn weight off).
For 8 weeks I haven't been able to run. It was a quick way to burn a lot of calories. It made me not hungry. It gave me happy brain chemicals and it made me want to do new and different things.
Since I stopped, I've been having to cross train with biking, swimming, walking. I do fitness classes and weight training, stretching and I've been in Physical Therapy for 3 weeks. But here's the deal, the happy brain chemicals are gone. And I'm depressed about my body not being able to do what it used to. And I stress eat.
It's like losing the weight was more like suddenly being able to walk on water. Your body feels a bit easier and much more agile. But if you start to gain it back, you sink in a bit. Right now, I'm up to my thighs. But I've been sinking for so long that the water is tepid rather than a cold shock of a number on a scale.
In reality, I'm up 10 lbs. But truthfully, that's almost going from a size 6 to a size 8. I'm bloated and doughy in the middle. And I know what I need to do. Every morning I get up and write out the food plan. And for some reason, my brain thinks it's okay to deviate from it (like today's pretzels and non-fat greek yogurt). Yeah, that probably doesn't sound like junk food. But it was way too many pretzels.
There's a part of me that feels like I was waiting for this failure. Then there's part of me that says, "Screw that, get down to business." And although Quigs promised to punch me in the face if I started gaining, she hasn't said anything yet... but after this post, I'm expecting to have to use my ice pack. Because I really want to be part of the 2%.
If anyone's got any motivating words, I could definitely use some friends.