Could it be? It is... it's worry. Where did this come from? And why do I have it? Last week I was calm and a bit zen about the whole upcoming kindergarten experience.
And now I'm worrying. What if my kid is a behavioral problem? What if he is below average in the classroom? I swear I don't have any more energy left to deal with trying to inspire a "me-crazed" five year old.
Yes, I know I registered him for kindergarten today, which is probably why I'm all a mess. His teacher for next year is Ms. Dramado. He was kind of whatever about the whole thing until he said to me that he was sad he didn't get Mrs. White because she had two kitchens in her room when they took the tour. And I figured if that's what he was qualifying as his must-have priority list for kindergarten, I think he's going to be horrified to learn that he's not a little boy any more. That kindergartners get in trouble for rough housing and yelling.
I went over some of the rules from the handbook that came in my registration packet. The one he was most concerned about was not being able to wear hats in the classroom. "Well, I guess I can dress up and just leave my fireman hat at home."
Shit. It reminds me of when I was 8 and I spent the whole night before third grade up worrying that I was going to do something stupid and get detention (because you couldn't get a detention before third grade). I worried about it for weeks.
I explained that he couldn't dress up in costume and go to kindergarten, except around, maybe, Halloween. My son was not amused with this discovery.
He's placed in a room where I think we only know one other child. He's an old friend from Next Generation, so that will work fine. To be truthful, I was a little afraid that if he and all of his best buddies ended up in the same class, it would be a lot of rough and tumble and figuring out that they were in school and not on a play date. But he had friends like Special K's boys who were in different classrooms at Next Gen and he was always happy to see them in the building and on the playground. I don't think it will be any different here.
Right now he's in the bathtub. I'm putting him to bed by 8:30, the estimated school bedtime. And I'll wake him up at 6:30 a.m., the estimated school wake up time. We're going to aim for this every weekday night until school starts.
Tomorrow, I won't have time to think about it. After I drop him off at sports camp at 7:30 a.m., I'm working out for an hour I'll pick up the book drop books, and then head into MMO to start going through my room. KTDID is going to come over and help. We're going to move things around, and I'm going to try to figure some things out that I'll need. Then I'll pick X-man up and get him some lunch and then drop him off at Little Gym Under the Sea camp so that he can have fun there, while I'm mowing my 3' high weeds and trying to some outside yard maintenance. It was so pretty before the three week-long heatwaves and now, I'm the saddest yard on the block. Sigh.
On Wednesday, X-man and I are headed to the pool. He's excited. He showed me in St. John that he can swim (via doggie paddle and underwater) across the width of the pools (around 12 feet). Yeah, there's no freestyle yet, but he can do it. So he's going to give the yellow slide a go at Sholem.
And here I thought that was going to be our biggest challenge this summer? As it turns out, I'm the one that's a wreck and he's just -- normal.