"You'll just know."

I've never watched someone I love die. 

It's almost happened, but not quite.

I was supposed to visit my grandmother during fall break when she was in the hospital after complications due to her Alzheimer's. Instead, I ended up studying over  break after my mother told me not to go because Nana wouldn't know who I was. It turns out, she died the day I would have been up there.

I was supposed to go home for Thanksgiving four weeks later, but between my grandmother dying and Thanksgiving I got pneumonia and missed a week of school. So I stayed away and studied. My Mom woke up the morning of Thanksgiving and found our family dog, Sandy, dead on the floor. She had congestive heart failure.

I felt somehow disconnected from the deaths because I wasn't there. Similarly, when I was 16, both of my father's parents and a great aunt died in a car accident in North Carolina. See? Disconnected. 

I've been a support system for other people who have lost their loved ones. My favorite sister-in-law lost her father to lung cancer. She picked up the phone and asked for some help to give her Mom a break, MacTroll and I responded and headed out to Baltimore. 

My good friend womanthatrolls lost her father when we were in college. It was terrifying to know there was absolutely no comfort that I could offer her besides sitting on my bed and playing with her hair.

The first semester of college, KTDID lost her uncle. I drove her back to Peoria and went to the funeral. She sat silently in the passenger seat staring out the window of the car between bouts of sobbing. 

I don't believe in God. I don't believe in Heaven. I don't believe there's any kind of plan or order to life. I believe in chaos, which provides no comfort. I believe that if you send out good into the world, someone will eventually benefit from it -- but it probably won't be you. I've known too many shitty things that have happened to really, really good people to believe karma is about the individual.

This week has been a messy week. I've taken a lot of hits and made some important decisions. I started my Monday by vomiting, followed by a flat tire and a bloody nose. It snowed five inches the day of an early class, which was a pain in the ass. I have had a nasty headcold all week, which has made life very unpleasant and robbed me of a lot of energy. My husband has been home 36-48 hours at a time for the last three weeks. And this morning, my 19-year-old cat went to the vet. She's lethargic and sad. 

Tests yesterday show she has a severe urinary tract infection, two kidney stones (one which has passed from the kidney to the bladder) which threw her already crappy  kidneys into failure, which has screwed with her liver and her hyperthyroidism. Plus, she threw up twice the night before last and is dehydrated and constipated. 

We're treating what we can right now with IV fluids, anti-nausea medication and kick ass antibiotics. But the only movement Looseyfur has made is walking the 10 feet from her carrier last night (she stayed in it all day with the door open) to our bed. We carried her to her litterbox both times to pee. They're going to monitor her today until the thyroid numbers come back from the lab. 

What we're looking at is either a cat that's going to use another one of her 9 lives and come back from near death--again-- or a cat who is going into complete organ failure and won't come home with us tonight. X-man, Riley and I said goodbye this morning, just in case. If she goes, she'll be cremated and sprinkled in our yard this spring.

We've been through a lot over the past 10 1/2 years with Looseyfur. She was our first baby. The first decision, after signing a lease on our first apartment in Virginia, that MacTroll and I made together. We had Loosey before we had furniture, before we had actual store bought dishes. She's welcomed 4 other cats, a dog and a baby into our house. 

She's usually full of vigor, but today she can hardly meow. 

This is Your Brain on Patty Cake

I had my Infant/Toddler class today, and I find my professor to be quite entertaining. She knows her stuff, which I love. There's that sense of confidence mixed with a sense of humor that has always appealed to me in teachers.

Teachers that just show up and quiz you from the book drive me mad. I can read... give me something else. Make connections. And really, with early childhood, teaching is about play and development. So, she gets it. 

But more importantly, she's not afraid to embarrass the hell out of her students to make that connection. And I love it. 

Today she was talking about infants and toddlers making connections. They do it through watching teachers and parents model behaviors. And they don't learn quickly. Those behaviors have to be repeated over and over and over again. You can't just show a child how to do a gentle touch once and expect him to remember the next day. 

We were also talking about how much is going on developmentally within an infant's brain. As she talked about the various synapses she went over explaining the structure of how messages gets sent through axons and dendrites in neurons. I found this a great review because we just finished a chapter on the brain in my psych 101 class, which is purely an online class where we spew back book crap.

So, it was entertaining to see how she took the information and molded it into something to consider as a caregiver or, as she likes to call them, educarers.

We also watched a spooky, terrible movie on how most daycare centers do a terrible job of infant care in the United States. My first inclination was, "Great make me feel guilty that I went to work when X-man was 8 months, and he went to daycare at 12 months." But then they showed the video of over crowded classrooms with overwhelmed teachers who couldn't be responsive to all of the babies' needs.

It made me happy and pissed off at the same time. It made me happy because every day after school X-man and I sit on a bench outside the infant room at his school. He likes to count the babies and watch what they're up to. He thinks it's cool when they're doing sensory activities. And never in my time with X-man are the infant rooms in the state of upheaval they were in that film. In fact, they're pretty subdued.

What pissed me off was that not every baby gets to have that kind of calm, comforting room. The head teachers in the NG baby room have been there since I toured in June 2006. They're always holding babies and talking to babies and snuggling babies. 

But I toured a couple of places where babies were just kept in their cribs for a lot of the day. As a parent, I knew I wanted more for my child, even as a sleep-deprived, postpartum depression suffering, mostly single mother. 

Now it makes me realize how, as a potential employee, I'd want to make sure I worked at a school where the environment was suitable for the children in my care. That the school put the development and health and safety of the children first. I'm going to have to be picky because I don't believe anyone deserves substandard care. But as I gain experience, I'd like to change that about the system. 

Because kids don't ask to be here when they're born. We bring them here. And in doing so we should provide them the best environment that we can, particularly when they're so little. 

A Note From My Bed

I am home sick today. I threw up my breakfast. I got X-man ready to go to pre-school, so I could get some rest only to find that I had a flat tire waiting for me in the garage.

Being the "whatever" woman that I am. I cranked up my car to the cheers of my excited, car-obsessed toddler and started to change the tire. Unfortunately, the nuts were on so tight that I couldn't get them loose. Not even using my uber strong recumbent bike legs. Sigh. 

I gave up and called the neighbors. Supershawn was on a conference call, so his wife, Supershanna took me and X-man to pre-school this morning. I did the drop off and went home. Then while I was trying to sleep, Supershawn wandered over, changed my tire, shut my garage door and quietly slipped out the back. I mean, Riley didn't even hear him. Stealthy!

I worked on school stuff and wrote half of the Humane Society newsletter. I tried to sleep, but I keep getting the chills. I have no fever, and I kept my small cracker-based lunch down so I think I'm on the mend. 

But I give up on the nap. I'm going downstairs to finish copying my old address book into the new one. I need something mindless to do for a while before I get up the gumption to go get X-man this afternoon.

Sunday -- my day off

Today is Sunday, and MacTroll is going to spend a lot of time with X-man today after being gone on a 5-day tour of Texas last week. He flew to Dallas from CMI, then drove with two co-workers to Austin and then to Houston. This week he's flying to California Monday through Wednesday night. 

And since I had a crazy busy week last week with a kid who was getting over a respiratory infection, I'm spending the day doing my reading for school and writing a portion of the e-newsletter for the CCHS.

I also have to do an insane amount of laundry. But most annoying is that I woke up sounding like a bit of a frog with a scratchy throat. Some liquids, oatmeal and a shower later, I'm feeling more human though, just a bit annoyed by my cold. X-man has a playdate this morning with a friend, so MacTroll is going to take him so I don't infect their family.

I bought a dayplanner yesterday for the first time in 3 years, so I could keep track of my appointments, fun social appointments and my school/test/visitation schedule.

The other thing that has been sucking up my brain are garden ideas for my yard. The regular plots are all filled (just waiting for them to grow up a bit, since they were baby plants when I put them in). But I plan on doing more fruit and vegetables this year. We planted a pear tree in the backyard last fall. He's a little guy, so it'll take a while before he fruits. I'm also going to pick up a raspberry bush like we had at the last house. Starting at 15 months, X-man would sit with me and carefully pick the berries off the bush I planted at the last house. But I'm excited that I have more room for one at this house. 

I picked up a book on how to turn your front yard into a garden. But I don't want to build it into more than I can care for so, this is gonna take some thought. And it'll probably take me 2-3 years to make it happen. 

Reading

Most of my friends are big book readers. I'm a big internet reader. My books require me to leave the state (and sometimes the country) in order for me to have enough of an attention span to sit down and enjoy them. Unless, I'm able to, by some miracle, make it through a book for book club every 6-8 weeks. 

I received this book as a gift from my Amazon.com wish list some time ago. And I'm finally, finally reading it. I've figured out I can take fun paperback novels (my psych book is way too large and requiring of full attention and underlining) to the gym and read them on the recumbent bike. 

As people are pedaling or running around me, I often laugh, or am shocked that my bike is beeping at me that it's time to get off. Books that do that are amazing. So I thought I'd share my favorite page of the book that I'm reading with you. I like this one because the author's philosophy is not unlike my own at this stage. It makes my life, which often feels completely crazy -- sane. 

The book is called The Fat Girl's Guide to Life" by Wendy Shanker.

Eat Me

"I'm not going to tell you what to eat. If you're reading this book, my hunch is you know plenty about nutrition and diets already. I can tell you what I do, if you borrow elements of it, knock yourself out.

I try to eat a balanced diet. That means lean protein (chicken, turkey, fish, tofu, etc.), carbs (whole wheat flour instead of white flour, brown rice instead of white rice), fruit (a real piece of fruit for the fiber, instead of sugary juice), veggies (never enough), dairy (women NEED dairy), a little sweat, a little fat. I try to eat lots of little meals instead of three big meals; I tend to feel fuller and digest food better that way. I eat breakfast every day. I take vitamins. I drink lots of water. I enjoy an alcoholic bevvie now and then. I try to avoid soda. I try to avoid sodium. I rarely eat fast food. I read food labels. I try not to eat a lot of processed or prepackaged foods, especially foods with trans fats or hydrogenated oil in them. I don't like a lot of sauces or dressing or butter, so they're easy for me to avoid. I try not to eat late at night. I try not to starve myself till I'm famished; I try to stop when I'm full.

I try not to deprive myself; I've found that it's better for me to eat one piece of bread out of the bread basket at the restaurant than a whole loaf later. I'm a lot less worried about eating what I want than eating what I don't want.

How many calories do I consume in a day? I guess around two thousand. Do I ever eat more than that? Sure. Do I ever eat less than that? Sure. Do I eat popcorn at the movies? If I want to. Do I eat a hot dog on a whim on a hot summer day? Every once in a while. Do I order dessert in a fancy restaurant? Let's hope so; I never understand people who order the twenty-dollar fruit plate. Do I eat dessert every night? No. Do I eat too much? From time to time. Do I eat too little? From time to time. Do I push back from the table and say loudly, "Oh, I ate so much, I'm really going to pay for this at the gym tomorrow!" Never. No one wants to hear it, least of all me.

Do I feel crazy about food? Much less than I ever have before..."

25 Minutes

So I have 25 minutes of "unscheduled" time today. And I'm spending it blogging while I suck back a Vitamin Water and scarf down a Weight Watchers TV dinner. Feel special. Seriously.

Yesterday, President Obama asked that we all push up our sleeves and get to work on making some serious changes in our country. And although I've been a volunteer on some level for over 10 years now, I took on a new responsibility today that has me very excited.

While I go to school hoping to one day be a teacher of little people (ages 0-5) because I appreciate them on many, many levels, which is why I organize my parent group, I miss one of my old passions, animal rescue. 

If you know me, you know that my family shares our lives with some furry felines and one loving and neurotic canine. And obviously, my hands are full with geriatric cat issues right now, but something I can do -- that does not require hands on time -- is to help the Champaign County Humane Society write their monthly e-newsletter. 

As of today, that's my new responsibility, and I'm very excited to be a volunteer. The director and staff at CCHS are very friendly and professional. So, I'm hoping this becomes a positive experience for all of us and allows the executive director an extra hour a week or so to deal with many of her other copious responsibilities. 

Either way, between CARE and CCHS, I'll be logging between 15-25 volunteer hours a month in community organizing and community service. I've also got a full-time class load, and am a single parent 3 weeks out of the month next month. 

So if I look a little frazzled between now and my spring break, you'll know why. After March 20, MacTroll's road show for work is over (he's going to 2-3 different cities every week, 3 weeks out of the month), and we miss him. I also won't be going to school over the summer, unless it's an online course. And I'm trying to find someone who would be willing to be the CARE organizer starting Oct. 1, 2009. 

But what I appreciate is that I absolutely love all of the "responsibilities" I have. Better yet, what I hope I'm doing is teaching by example (which is very important according to our president and my early education books). Quite simply, I'm focusing on trying to teach X-man to be kind to others, no matter their species, color, age, religion, culture or sexuality. 

What I hope he understands is how to value diverse ideas as he grows older and makes his own decisions. 

Kindness and Tolerance. Kindness and Tolerance. Kindness and Tolerance. 

Obsessed

So, the first step to recovery in a typical 12-step program is to admit you have a problem. 

Hello, my name is Looseyfur. And I am an Etsy addict. If you don't know what Etsy is, it's a website where individual artists can post their work for sale.

It started as a flirtation. I was looking for holiday presents last September and stumbled onto it when Rayne of Terror forwarded a link to an artist she loves who sells his prints there. And now I just can't stop. 

I love it. I ordered a bag from Penelope Parker for my sister-in-law at Christmas.

I ordered recycled paper notepads and a custom made rocket t-shirt for my son's third birthday party in March. 

And now I'm scouting out birthday gifts for people for the next year. I can't help it. Sure, some of the stuff is pure shit. But man, if you're a plus sized woman and want a sexy corset -- there are people who will custom make them to fit you, you just have to send in your measurements. 

If you are like me and LOVE hard-to-find, asymmetrical clothing, it's not a problem to find someone to make it for you on Etsy. They have awesome recycled raglan appliqué t-shirts and pants for kids, witty and dirty stationery, jewelry, watches, clocks, even freaking baked items. 

Seriously, I'm in love, particularly with the artists who make things using recycled products. I love things that are functional and pretty. 

Speaking of functional and pretty, a big shout out to Rogers who lent me her label maker. The art supply cupboard is now all put together in rubbermade containers and labeled. I even went as far as to put labels on the toy bins in the living room and am about to do the basement (just because my better half has a habit of just throwing shit wherever). 

But seriously, Etsy and a labelmaker, and you don't hear from me for days. I don't blog about how my kid has been congested since Thursday afternoon. He hasn't been wheezing or coughing all night (only when he wakes up), so we're just trying to keep him rested and away from the masses, but he's got an appetite and he's playing normally, so we might go on a trip to the grocery store tomorrow. (I promise to wipe down the handle of the cart afterwards!)

In other news, I'm trying to not plan out every weekend with fun-filled family enjoyment. :-) But there are so many things we like to do with X-man. We showed him the Pixar parade that they have at the California Adventure Disneyland theme park. We're planning a visit for this summer either before or after WWDC. He's just recently fallen in love with A Bug's Life, and most of the rides are from that era. But in the parade, he'll get to see all the Pixar characters that he's come to enjoy. 

Right now, he's a complete Toy Story freak. Seriously, two weeks ago, I gave him a stuffed Buzz. It had no wings or laser and the helmet didn't retract. It was more a soft stuffed animal body with a hard plastic head. Well, Buzz took a tumble to the floor and his head popped off. Busted. I worked on it and worked on it, but couldn't fix it. X-man got very sad. Then he placed broken Buzz on his window seat, covered him with a blankie, kissed his decapitated head and said, "Feel better, Buzz."

Yeah, so I didn't replace him with the same one, cause clearly he wasn't going to stand up to X-man's rough and tumble. But a lot of the Buzz toys are considered collector's items, so they sell for $40 or more on ebay or Amazon. But I found one person who was selling a Buzz for $19 on ebay, so I bought it. Yes, it has all the annoying bells and whistles, but X-man was so happy when we took it out of the box. He kept clapping, "New Buzz! New Buzz!" 

He's also got these 4" tall plastic figurines that I've got in the potty reward bin, with all the clearance stuff they had at Target last week like Toy Story tattoos, pencils, notepads, stampers, etc. They went in the tub and out of the tub tonight. Each one had to be washed and dried and kissed before bed. "To Infinity and Beyond!" precedes every flight to the bottom of the tub. And the hand-me-down Woody that someone brought to the swap that was from McDonald's is such a hit as the "bigger" Woody, that he hasn't even picked the little Woody from the potty jar yet, instead going for Alien and Rex, the dinosaur.

Now when he sees pictures of outerspace, he associates it with Buzz. When he sees cowboy hats, he thinks Woody. I watch him go from being this manic about Thomas to Cars to Bob the Builder and now to Toy Story. But I guess there are way worse items out there for him to be obsessed over... right? 

Oooh, and since he's been sick I just showed him my favorite non-Pixar Disney film, Mulan. In non-Disney fashion, Mulan is not a princess. She's smart, physically capable, and doesn't want to fit in the mold that is required in patriarchal China. At the end when all of China bows to her to thank her for saving the country from the Huns, I cry. 

But X-man stands and applauds. 

Seriously, we're addicts. You might want to back away from us now.

Things that are not the same

MacTroll tried to bring home Brother Bear the animated film from Disney from That's Rentertainment.

Instead, the person behind the counter gave us Homicide: Life on the Street Season 3, disc 2.

MMM, Knowledge is Power, go figure.

I've been in my early childhood education classes for one week. And in that one week I can tell you that I should have taken them rather than any of the baby classes at Carle. They are way more interesting and way more useful. 

They show an organization to all the things I've learned trial by fire, and for freaks like myself who like clear direction within a creative, open and safe environment, they really do fill in some gaps. 

Sigh, so if you're a new parent or you're going to be. You might want to check out your local community college and sign up for their infant and toddler class now. Do the pre-school one further down the line. Seriously. It's amazing what you learn -- so you know the right questions to ask, so you understand you're not insane and so you realize that you're not alone in  your endeavor down the crazy line of work that is parenting. 

Seriously, worth it. 

Fact: Looseyfur is Clumsy

Things I've wrecked lately:

1.) Tore a hole in the drywall of my new house with a car door -- and bent the car door to the point that when it rains hard water leaks in onto my left leg.

2.) Left the laundry room sink running a bit too long. 

3.) Got the electrical cord stuck in the electrical snowblower.

4.) Dropped a piece of the guest bed I was putting together and poked a hole in the drywall.

5.) Somehow measured wrong 4 times when hanging a magnet board in Xander's room and put in all kinds of crazy holes. 

6.) Hit the bottom of the dishwasher a little hard with the vacuum and ended up breaking the plastic panel. 

7.) Closed the door on the refrigerator without closing the rotter drawer (i.e. fruit and vegetable drawer) and now it's slightly off track.

Don't call me a co-ed

I started at school today. This time as a student. I'm taking three classes this semester. Two on campus at Parkland and one online. And I'm really excited about my first class. It's Programming for Young Children (ages 2-6). Pretty much it's a lot like the work I already do with my family group, but I get to focus on the actual educational theory behind the practical application rather than just lighting a fire on the seat of my pants and hoping it goes well.

Then after a great morning at my first class, I logged into my psych class online. I have a chapter to read and digest and some homework to do for it before Sunday. To celebrate me doing something I want to do for myself,  MacTroll took me out to lunch at Thara Thai, which was awesome. I got my favorite soup and some hot tea. 

This morning when I dropped X-man off at school, he was confused because he thought he was going to Mommy's school, too. :-) But he was happy to go inside and see his friends. 

My Sleepy Boy

The I in the INFJ

So I've been thinking a lot lately as to why I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed by my life. I live a very active, planned out, fun existence. I really do. So why do I feel so disconnected from everything?

The truth is that I am a small group person. I like one one one; I like one on two. Hell, I'm good with three other people sitting around a booth having a beer. But I suck at crowds.

Nowadays, I find myself in an interesting predicament. It used to be that I had work friends, or school friends or couple friends. The lives of those people only intertwined when I'd throw some kind of holiday party -- for 10. 

My predicament now -- and isn't it a great one to have -- is that by moving back to the midwest and having Xander, I've met A NUMBER of outstanding new people. And I want to spend time with all of them. Being the organizer of CARE let me see them at all kinds of events. But now that our kids are more crazy and mobile (and opinionated), we don't get to chat because we're chasing our 2 year olds around or asking someone else to tackle them while we change a baby's diaper, that, let's face it, sometimes isn't even our own kid. I love it. I love having so many caring and considerate and giving people in my life. It really is amazing.

But I'm starting to freak out when we have get-togethers, because it's not just the 10 friends. It's the 10 friends, their husbands their one to four children... and then it's like a bar mitzvah or a theme park line. And my introverted nerves get fried. 

So, my goal is to make more individual time with those that I love. Sure, I might see you less in terms of quantity, but we'll get much more quality. And I hope that's okay. Because I love you. You make me happy... and I hope you feel the same way.

One of "those" mothers...

When X-man was born, I didn't have very many friends with kids. Okay, I had one: Rogers. We lived next door to each other. Our sons are 10 weeks apart. We both had difficult pregnancies in entirely different ways, but it was nice to have someone going through the same thing at the same time.

I remember interacting with other mothers with older children and listening to them complain about their kids. "Just you wait until..." Like it was a given that my baby was going to be a pain in the ass, too. 

I was discouraged and offended by it and I told myself that I didn't ever want to grow up to be a bitter mom. I was not going to judge other people's parenting decisions the way I did before I had a kid. I was going to do the best I possibly could, but in the end I knew that no matter how much I rocked or how much I sucked as a parental unit I was going to give it all I had. I am, obviously, human. So I anticipate mistakes. X-man and I got through life scream-free until about June of 2008, when he was 27 months old. Then I started to get frustrated with everything, and I realized what made those bitter moms bitter. 

As the parent of a newborn, I was underneath some delusion that if I talked to my child and kept the lines of communication open and tried to set a good example he would respect me and we'd have fewer behavioral issues. (Yeah, I'm laughing at that sentence, too.) 

But what I realized by having a toddler, is that like my difficult pregnancy, I have very little control over anything. I can plan and anticipate and adapt, but at the end of the day, my child is still going to drive me mad at bedtime. Even though we have the same bedtime routine every night. Even though he ate plenty of fruit and vegetables. Even though we had a pretty indepth conversation (at least for X-man) on how he feels like he suddenly wants to stay a baby rather than be a big boy, even if it means only drinking milk from a bottle and lying down all day with a pacifier.

It made me realize that I have what I always wanted when he was so little. I have a free-thinker. I have a kid who is more interested in figuring something out than he is in having me do it for him. I have a kid who shows affection, disappointment, sadness, frustration and tries to talk to me about those experiences. 

But it doesn't stop him from jumping on the couch. It doesn't stop him from refusing to sit still during a timeout. It doesn't stop him from trying to stall at bedtime or runaway when it's time to put pants on in the morning. 

And like Freak, I find that my first response to being frustrated at those regular 2-year-old times is shouting. I don't want that to be my main kind of communication when things get rough, but it's hard in the heat of the moment (particularly after I've been bonked on the head with a metal truck) to get my shit together on the spot. 

This job takes a whole lost of endurance and confidence. Now when I sit around mothers of newborns, I am very aware of the long road they have ahead of them. And even though I answer honestly about my challenges with having a toddler, I find myself remembering the moms who told me my child would grow up and scream that he hates me, embarrass me in public and that I'd be dying for a martini at 2 p.m., too. So I show a little compassion.

My child is not her child. And although he or she will probably go through some similar traits at certain stages, she'll get through them, the way I'm working my way through X-man's. 

While I was searching the internet the other day, I found an article about a 60 Minutes interview with Felicity Huffman. Usually with celebrities you get a lot of crap about how they could stay pregnant forever or losing their baby weight on macrobiotic diets was a snap. I was surprised at Felicity's openness and even more shocked to find that she and I have similar parenting experiences. I'm not a big Desperate Housewives fan. I did enjoy her on Sports Night and on her guest visits to other Aaron Sorkin projects. But boy, she's got a fellow Mommy fan for life now. 

Just call me Oscar

I'm in a bad mood today. 

I have a headache and a cold.

My child kept me up half of the night because he doesn't seem to understand that he still needs to nap during the day, or he falls asleep in the car on the way to return videos at quarter to 6 p.m. and won't wake up for anything -- until it's time for Mom to go to bed -- and then he keeps her up with wild rumpus like behavior until it's way past any person's bedtime. Only to have to get up at 7 a.m. How obnoxious was he? Riley, the dog, actually begged to go downstairs and sleep alone on the couch rather than be anywhere near the second floor.

I've just dropped my monster off at pre-school. Instead of going to the gym, I'm taking a nap and we'll see if life starting at 11 a.m. is at least headache free. 

Then I will go shopping at Wal-mart, one of my least favorite things to do, and then I'll either try to take a walk or go to the gym, depending on the state of my cold, before I fetch the X-man from school.

Last Night of the Holiday

Tomorrow life goes back to normal. MacTroll gets on a plane for California and won't be back until Saturday.

X-man goes back to pre-school for the first full week since mid-December. So tonight we spent it playing with a new toy that X-man got for Christmas from my sister. It's a school bus that follows a solid line of color, so you just bust out the paper and draw your own track and let it go and it will follow the route. 

Below is our town. X-man and I had fun with the markers, stampers and stickers. I have a feeling it'll be on the coffee table until he decides he wants a new track -- like on his train table. 

Afterward, we made some chocolate chip cookies for dessert. Anyone want some? :-) 

Why we eat out

Okay, so we've been cooking up a storm at our house. And we have a bunch of left overs. So I decided to make them for lunch today.

I reheated some taco for Xander and put it on a plate. 

Then I reheated a bratwurst and put it on my plate. 

Then all hell broke loose.

"My sausage!" he screamed. So I offered to switch. 

"No! My taco!" 

Back and forth. Until he threw a tantrum and cried and lied down on the couch crying and moaning. Only to sit up and say, "Scared of the dark." 

Yeah, um, it's 11:15 a.m. and there's a strong southern exposure lighting up the living room.

Then he noticed -- I had eaten the taco.

"Mommy, go away! Go away! My plate! My taco!"

So, um, I did what any mother does. I started laughing uncontrollably. 

I laughed so hard that I had to usher myself upstairs and left MacTroll knee deep in a temper tantrum while he was trying to use the leftover grilled chicken in his new George Foreman grill/griddle/wafflemaker/panini machine that he purchased at Wal-mart yesterday. Why a George Foreman you ask? Because he found out that in all stores in Savoy -- charcoal is a seasonal item that isn't around in January. Cause he's the only insane person willing to stand out in 15 degree weather to grill. 

Ahhh -- the tirade has ended with MacTroll putting Toy Story up on the big screen. With any luck, the little crazed lunatic will pass out on the couch.