Friday, April 29, 2011

Blood pressure is 96/60, really?

I'm pretty cool in the blood pressure department according to every doctor I've ever seen. Even when I was obese, my BP never got higher than 115/70. But over the last year or so, I've been coming in on the low end. There are jokes about how I must be the most relaxed person ever, but lately I've been pretty high strung.

It should be enough to have the life I have. It should be enough to have a wonderful spouse and an awesome kid and to take pride in raising him and working together as a family. But here's the deal, I want so much more. I have no idea how to sit still, but I do know when I'm happy.

I am happy at work, for example. Next fall I'll be teaching five mornings a week, and I'm thrilled about it. My job is just a tad over minimum wage. You have to really want to be there, because the money isn't what makes my job worth my while. It's the children, and their families. I love it, and I'm excited to be in charge of a classroom rather than floating from one room to another.

But on weeks when MacTroll is on travel, X-man gets tired of getting up earlier to go to work with me. He doesn't grasp the idea that when he acts like he's 2 and has a hard time putting on sweat pants and a t-shirt and a pair of sandals and wants to fight with me about whether he's a big boy or not -- that I don't put up with that crap. Yet, he attempts it, at least one of the days when I go to work every week. Today's tantrum was on top of the fact that he checked out a Scooby Doo DVD from the Tolono Library. When he got it, MacTroll let him play it on my desk in the kitchen, which is never a good idea. First of all, X-man has his own hand-me down computer in MacTroll's office. Secondly, I work at my desk. There's crowds of stuff on it waiting to get filed right now. And last of all, I've asked specifically for him NOT to watch TV there. Alas, all of these things had a consequence (shocker, I know!), and the case for the Scooby Doo video is no where to be found. If I had to guess, I'd say that it fell into the paper recycling bin next to my desk and that MacTroll didn't notice at 5 a.m. when he put out the garbage. We still have the DVD, but I made it clear to the boys in my "don't eff with mama" tone this morning that they would be taking the DVD back to the library tomorrow and they would be sharing the cost to pony up whatever fee we had to pay to replace the case (yes, we at least still have the DVD). And, of course, the DVD will be one day late.

This was followed by my son insisting that his show and tell (a small tub of bakugans) was too big for him to carry. And that was followed by the fact that he wanted to take a coloring book for his nap bag, but he forgot it. And it was my fault.

So by the time I arrived to school, I'm pretty sure my blood pressure wasn't 96/60.

Oh, and there's something I forgot to tell you. The dog woke me up at 3 a.m. to go out last night. When I stepped out of bed it felt like I was stepping on a large rock on my heel. That's totally not cool. If I have issues with the fascia at the bottom of my foot, I'm going to scream. But this is what I get for allowing Carle to make me their half-marathon Weight Management poster child on Facebook, right? If I had waited until after the half to show them the shirt I had thanking them (which may, or may not be covered by my number, I'll figure it out tonight), my foot wouldn't hurt. But this is me, and I am clearly jinxed.

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