Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Electronic Communication

I love e-mail. I hate the phone. I get angry when I have to call and order a pizza or make a doctor's appointment. I have a blog. I'm a member of a hidden blog. I have a Facebook account. But really those communication tools are pretty egotistical. Mostly it's about keeping myself straight and feeding my stalker journalistic urges. I'm nosy. I admit it.

But you know what I do like, I do like picking up the phone (or, um, if you're lucky I hit buttons in my car now) and dialing up people to ask them how their day was and what is new. I know that I talk to the usual suspects online, but sometimes I miss things. Sometimes I don't see a feed. Sometimes I don't visit a blog for weeks, even though I've updated my status 14 times and my blog 3 times a week.

It's selfish. I know. But my attention span online is not very long. Usually because I'm visiting while I'm waiting for 13 other things to finish or with a child attached to my leg crying because I took away a toy he threw at me and put it up where he can't reach it, and I need a Mommy time out in my head.

As much as I love online communication and stalking the people I have positive memories and thoughts about, I'm not perfect. So, if something important happens in your life and you post it on Facebook or send me an e-mail and I don't respond. Please don't think me callus. I'm just on overload. Call me. Don't leave me a voicemail. Use that tone. You know the one. The one that tells you that something terrible has happened. When people use that tone and say, "Please call me back when you get this." People call. It's effective. And it's much more personal. People have the chance to sit down and ready themselves...

"I busted up my car today in the grocery store. I'm $30,000 in debt and I feel like laying down on the train tracks." -- CALL

"My mother just got diagnosed with breast cancer." -- CALL

"My child is driving me up the freaking wall." -- CALL

"I just won a million dollars from whomever got the job from Ed McMahon." -- CALL

"I'm pregnant -- oops!" -- CALL

"I'm pregnant -- finally!" -- CALL

"My computer died." -- Obviously a CALL

"I ran errands today and saw something I think X-man would like." -- a CALL would be pleasant but is not necessary... e-mail is okay here.

If you have any question as to whether or not the life changing event is important enough to make the call -- always err on being more personal. I think it helps. Because most good friends and family would rather hear good news from you before your 201 "friends" on Facebook or your 13,000 blog readers. Those status updates are often just noise -- not heartfelt communication.

It's become a big cultural problem. And I'm just saying -- I'd rather you reached out over the phone or in person than electronically about that kind of stuff. If it's too much, then I know where I rank, and that's okay. I can deal.

3 comments:

Unknown said...

Just today I made a pact with myself I'm going to call one friend a week. When I found out Jen's office building was in lockdown and there was potentially a shoooter and hostage situation it occurred to me I feel like she's my bff, but when is the last time I actually picked up the damn phone? It's been almost 2 3/4 years since I had a falling out with my main phone friend and I think that scared me off that level of intimacy. I can count on one hand how many times I've called a friend, not family, just to chat since then.

libbygirl said...

I am not a phone person either. I think that it's funny that the people that I see most often I never end up calling, everything is just set up by computer or texts.

makeup_girl said...

I love talking on the phone. If the kids weren't pulling me in 5 directions, I could talk for hours to my girlfriends.