Getting My Goat

There are few things that really get my goat. Even though there are a legion of things I don't understand and ask lots of questions about, very few things actually get me all worked up or hot under the color.

But one of the things that does make me irate is the slow moving pace of my undergraduate institution in regards to alumni relations and cultural competencies.

When MacTroll and I got hitched in 2000, I sent in the little announcement to go in the alumni magazine that comes out Quarterly. It got printed correctly, but I realized that mall from Millikin started coming to Mr. and Mrs. MacTroll Non-Blogger.

WTF? MacTroll and I don't even have the same last name.

MacTroll didn't go to the same school I did. He wasn't writing any checks to them. Why in the world would they dump my identity for his? Yeah, yeah, I know socially there are some elderly people that actually liked to be called Mrs. John Doe. But the thought, personally, makes me gag.

I called the alumni office and was told that it was their protocol. Some Emily Post-like bullshit. So then I sent an e-mail to the university president, who had been one of my greatest supporters when I was the editor of the student newspaper. He did his thing...

The next peace of mail I got was to Ms. Looseyfur Blogger and Mr. MacTroll Non-Blogger. Nice.

Fast forward 12 years.

Strangely, for the first time, Millikin has a marriage notice from a same-sex couple. And for some really awful reason, they run the announcement not under the "marriage" headings but under another heading. So even though seven states recognize gay marriage and a few others civil unions, they hadn't had the forethought (even though we had a pretty large gay/lesbian community at Millikin) to think about what to do when a notice came in.

Well, it's not a shock that the two women who got married legally in another state were horrified to receive the separate but equal treatment. So a little Facebook/e-mail campaign ensued, and I found out from a friend of mine who got married last October that mail came addressed to the Mr. and Mrs. You Have No Identity protocol again.

Not happy, I told MacTroll about it. His response... no more money to Millikin for any of this crap.

So, instead, I wrote an e-mail to one of the people in charge of donors. I explained to her the protocol for name changes that I had always used at home and at work, and she totally agreed. She and her spouse hyphenated their names together. She wasn't sure how far changing the whole system was going to go with those that had obviously been around over a decade ago when they refused to change it for me, but she said she would go ahead and change my friend's information.

I told her to make sure she included the prefix Dr. as my friend had just spent half a decade and a crap load of money and brain power earning her PhD.

And out of the information campaign, came a lot of letters of concerns, complaints and a lot of online feedback about how they could make the Quarterly a better publication... They even came up with a poll for readers to talk about where they think gay married/civil union companies should be. And all of those options were MUCH better than the separate but equal.

Funny how a pretty forward thinking school has such a backwards acting alumni department, sometimes. Sigh.

(Beeping) Homecoming

I remember being a freshman in high school and sitting in the bleachers of my first high school football game with KAP and Alex Tower. We were watching the game but mostly we were chatting. Alex kept smacking the ballcap off my head and pulling KAP's ponytail eliciting whines of "Stop it, Aaaaa-lllleeexx." 

Anyway, I remember seeing students that went to high school with my sister (who had graduated the year before I started) coming back to high school for the Homecoming game. I sat there thinking, "Why?" I hated high school. Seriously. HATED it. 

My sister was in steering committee, the french club, she swam on the swim team, she did the newspaper, she was prom chairman... you name it, she did it. And I tried to do a lot of those things thinking they'd get me out of the house (which might have been why she did them too). But my love for most things lasted six weeks. So if you look in my freshman yearbook, you'll see I showed up for a couple of shots that I didn't follow through with. My apologies to those who did and are now in charge of reunions for the rest of their lives. (I love you, Ann. And only for you would I even consider offering to help.)

I stuck with Volleyball and Yearbook. And it took me an extra year to warm up to the idea of high school soccer. 

I felt differently about college. I loved college. I loved my classes. I loved my friends. I loved my majors (yes, I had two). I loved that I set my schedule pretty much. And I loved, loved, loved working for the newspaper. 

But outside of the things I chose for myself, I was never content with the way Millikin was run as an academic institution. I did a column once on the lack of handicap accessibility, by getting into a wheelchair and pushing myself around campus. I could go practically nowhere at the time. We had issues dealing with administrators when it came to issues like rape on campus. Safety on campus. Food service issues on campus. Health Center issues. Dorm issues. Greek issues. Alcohol issues. 

The day I left, I decided if I gave money to Millikin it would all be in the name of the Decaturian or the writing and communication programs. And so far that's true, minus one $50 per plate dinner at the Occidental in D.C. 

In 2003 I moved next door to Rogers. Rogers also went to Millikin. She and I weren't friends there, although we did take one class together. She knew some of my people. I knew some of her people. But we never really were introduced. She wanted to go to Homecoming. She had been on Homecoming Court in college. And I love Rogers. So I went. And at the bar where they held our 5-year-reunion, they were supposed to take a group photo. I didn't want to be in it. Lori begged and pleaded and finally I succumbed. Only to have some intern for the alumni office show up to take it with a disposable camera. I found this hilarious. You might have been able to see that amused grin, if -- the photo had turned out. Who knew that taking a photo with a crappy disposable in the darkness of an alley turned into a beer garden in Decatur wouldn't work out? Ooooh, yeah. I did.

Anyway, in 2005, my BFF KTDID got married. KTDID is also a Millikin graduate. At her reception in Peoria, the MU folks got together and took a group photo (because Millikin prints "what Millikin graduates were at your wedding" photos in their alumni quarterly.)

KTDID's friend Colin just put our photo up on Facebook. I wonder why it didn't get printed... 

:-) See, it's that smile after all. This fall is my 10th MU graduation anniversary... and no, I'm not going. 

Grand Finale

I got up at an ungodly hour. I took a shower, got dressed, fed the cats, let out the dog and now I'm driving over to Millikin to give my final exam (it starts at 8 a.m.).

It's my last drive to Decatur for work. 

EDIT: I just read my Millikin e-mail and was told there was something I may or may not want to read in one of the student editor blogs.  All I can say is, today, is the happy shiny day for many reasons. It's nice to be appreciated. Who am I kidding -- it's awesome to be adored, particularly from someone as dedicated, honorable and smart as Galen Broaddus.