Contentment

For once my blog isn't going to be about me as a parent, my fitness achievements/setbacks or my worries.

It's about acceptance.

A few months ago, I was having lots of concerns and worries about being loved and appreciated. I felt taken for granted. And then suddenly over the weekend, I kind of just stopped worrying about it. Instead, I drew in a deep breath. Told myself I had no control over that hot mess, exhaled and moved on.

There are so many things in my life I think I ought to do. Things I need to do. Things I want to do well. Finally at 34, I'm starting to understand how to pace myself. How not to take so many things personally. How I can focus on necessity versus optional.

I'm not sure what took so long to get here, or how long this state of contentment will last. But I'm starting to realize that I'm coming into my own about a lot of things. I know who I am. I know what's mine. I know what's important and that, ultimately, the only person I can control and improve is me.

Internal and external issues be damned.

I'm no rock star. I know.

But in this moment, I'm patting myself on the back, and moving forward.

Goodbye/Hello

Today, we traded in our 2002 VW Golf that we bought during the last economic crisis in October 2001. We lived in Northern Virginia then, and having one car was getting really, really difficult the more hours MacTroll and I were working. Not to mention that we'd bought our first condo six months prior, which was not Metro accessible. The VW was an awesome little car. It drove us back and forth to the Mid-Atlantic several times. It went through snow like a champ. It took me to Montreal in 2004 and 2005, which were very special vacations for me. And most importantly, it was the car I brought home both Riley AND X-man home in.
Now, we're owners of a 2010 RAV-4.


X-man got to pick the color (red). So when MacTroll and I are parked next to each other (He has a bright blue RX-8) our cars are "Superfriend colors." The Toyota has big wheels to fill. Right now it's wooing us (particularly MacTroll) with it's gizmos aplenty. But it fits in the garage, gets mileage that is comparable to the little VW and has room for X-man to grow in the back (cause let's face it, at this growth rate he's going to be taller than us by 5th grade). The one huge change besides sitting taller in a car (it's a bit like driving a bus) it's the first automatic car I've ever owned. I've always driven stickshift. So, if you see me suddenly brake in the middle of traffic, I tried to reach for my clutch. I assume it's like emotional eating, it'll take a while to reset my instincts, right? Oh, and large tire thing on back means, no magnetic bumper stickers. I know you're all crying about that. :-)

Oh and in non-related car news -- Riley's ringworm test came back negative, so we can stop bathing animals! Hooray. He's finishing off his prescriptions, and I'm doing a deep house clean tomorrow on the first floor.

But I look so pretty -- But it would be so stupid

Today, I went shopping for a few things. My old fitness clothes are starting to fall off, so I had to get new ones. I had a 30 percent off coupon for Kohl's so I wandered in to find a mountain of sales. I got some pants, a Nike shirt and a hoodie for me (with extra long arms that have thumbholes in them -- my fave). Shopping is still an adventure for me. It's like playing the, "What size am I?" game. In stretchy cotton/spandex blends I went from an XL to a M. 

Then I went to Bergner's because they are currently the only place in town to carry Wacoal's B.Tempted underwear line. I got a flyer from Confidentially Yours that it's coming soon, but I was already at the mall, so I thought I'd try them out. I LOVED them. They were much cheaper than the traditional Wacoal's ($20-50 cheaper), and had a better look to them. The ones I got were unlined because I'm not a huge fan of the t-shirt bra. And really, what makes a girl happier than having underwear that fits her properly? 

Apparently, a dress. I was walking by a rack of sale items (some dresses were 70 percent off), and I spied a blue one by Sandra Darren, whom I had never heard of before, but it was pretty, on sale, it wasn't super dressy and it had a big tag on it that says, "Yes, I'm WASHABLE." 

I have a high school reunion coming up and although it's completely a) not normal for me to go to a reunion or b) for me to wear a dress, I was curious. So, I tried it on. And I loved it. Except I think in another few pounds the size 12 I tried on will be too big. 

Yes, you read that right. I still get goosebumps thinking about it. I think tomorrow, if I'm feeling down, I might run up there with a pair of dress shoes and try it on again. I mean, the lady on the corner with the alterations business could always take it in, right? They didn't have a size smaller than the 12 available -- well, okay there was a 6, I think, but, um, yeah, that's too small for me. 

At this point, I feel like buying any nice clothes is just a waste of money and stupid. But I looked so, so pretty.

Speaking of dresses, I have two more formal size 18W dresses that I should probably Ebay and get out of the closet. Unless I have someone out there that wants to try them on? $50 each and they're yours.

Don't call me a co-ed

I started at school today. This time as a student. I'm taking three classes this semester. Two on campus at Parkland and one online. And I'm really excited about my first class. It's Programming for Young Children (ages 2-6). Pretty much it's a lot like the work I already do with my family group, but I get to focus on the actual educational theory behind the practical application rather than just lighting a fire on the seat of my pants and hoping it goes well.

Then after a great morning at my first class, I logged into my psych class online. I have a chapter to read and digest and some homework to do for it before Sunday. To celebrate me doing something I want to do for myself,  MacTroll took me out to lunch at Thara Thai, which was awesome. I got my favorite soup and some hot tea. 

This morning when I dropped X-man off at school, he was confused because he thought he was going to Mommy's school, too. :-) But he was happy to go inside and see his friends. 

Happy and Perky Post

Maybe it's because I have hair that's a bit Catherine Banning meets Mary Tyler Moore, but the truth is that I'm pretty perky today.

MacTroll is home for the week. X-man is being awesome. He seems to be pretty mellow. I hit the gym again this morning and did 35 minutes on the elliptical while watching The West Wing (and really, does it get better than Bradley Whitford as Josh?) and then I went to stretch class from 9-9:25 p.m. 

I set the program on the thermostat for winter temperatures. It's very likely the heat will turn on tonight. I love that X-man is in love with Sesame Street. He's wearing a 4T set of Thomas overalls this morning that MacTroll told me he'd never fit into when I bought them at the resale shop last week. But they fit perfectly. He's such a "big boy."

Apple stock has been up and down with the rest of the market. But they reported really good earnings... so they've been slightly bouncing back even while the rest of the market is bombing, but I have no control over that so I'm focusing on what I do have control over. Hanging out with the people I love. And tonight I had dinner with a group of friends who are just high quality people. There's a shortage of them in the world (kind of like perfect breasts, if you're a fan on of the Princess Bride). So, I am very thankful to have so many.

Overall, I'm a pretty happy camper. I'm toning the perky down a bit since I know it makes some people nervous and annoys others. But right now, life is good. I'm watching X-man wear his new Teddy Bear slippers from the Gap. He's trying to figure out how to put them on himself, but it's somewhat frustrating. Mommy's mule slippers are so much easier!