To Brulée or Not to Brulée

I went out for coffee Saturday morning at Aroma Café. In the window was an ad for an event at the Canopy Club called "Voulez-Vous Brulée?"

The photo is of a woman naked slightly covered in feathers (click on the link and you'll see what I'm talking about). But what intrigued me, was the description that was totally meant for people who aren't your normal clubbers: "Voyeurs, exhibitionists, freaks, and wallflowers welcome. Costumes encouraged."


And I thought, Well, hell, I'm all four of those things in a way. Plus, this is a totally appropriate venue for the corset. 


But then I talked to my new friend Cor about it and I wondered if it would be me, at 35, with a bunch of 19-21 year old kids. I didn't want to show up and feel old and ridiculous (or I should say more old and ridiculous than I feel on a daily basis).


This was reinforced today when I was in the "fun" t-shirt section at Target and X-man pointed out that Daddy couldn't have an Operation Game t-shirt because this was the section for "high-schoolers." He then pointed to the poster at a display next to us to an 18-year-old kid. Yeah, okay. Even my 4 year old gets it.


But tonight I went to the Canopy Club web site to look up more info. Turns out Ginger Brulée is getting an MFA in dance from the U of I (no lie). Not only that, but this event is part of her thesis:
By virtue of our collective gaze, we, as a society, bestow upon the beautiful young woman (performer) an intoxicating sexual power— a power that is creative, generative, and, ultimately, addictive. Though she has us in thrall, the nature of her power rests in her own exposure, an exposure that all too often renders her vulnerable to exploitation and violence.

When she matures, she will be expected to relinquish the hold she enjoys over us in exchange for the procreative power of motherhood, the nature of which is still rooted in seclusion. Not unlike the separation of church and state, 21st century American society still maintains that these two powers, that of the creative and the procreative, or, in the words of Simone de Beauvoir, the productive and the reproductive, cannot be held in one female body simultaneously.

Through dance, music, narrative, and comedy, and within the context of third wave feminist discourse, I will ask: Why not?

And that pretty much represents most of the women that I know around town. So maybe I'm not crazy, but I've also never been to the Canopy Club, and it's a school night. 

But I was wondering, if anyone else might be up for going with me? It's on March 17 from 9 p.m. to 2 a.m. and the ticket is $5. And I'd probably be able to go from 9-11 p.m. If it completely blew, we could head over to Boltini. They'd never look at us weird. :-)  I'm not a dancer... but it says wallflowers are welcome. And really, I'm just -- curious.

Grown Ups

I'm almost to the point where I'm closer to 40 than 30. It's just a few months away. And I really don't mind. But I've started to take a step back and observe how I live my life. The things that I'd like to accomplish. One of the things that has often bothered me is there are many things around the house that are in a perpetual stand still. In an emotional sense, my house is our home. But if you looked around here, you would know we lived here, but I haven't exactly set it up like it's a permanent residence. Part of me thinks it's because I think of home as where my family is, rather than the dwelling we happen to reside in. But I go into other people's homes, and I like when they're lived in. I like when I see pieces of who they are up on the walls. I'll also admit I like it when I get that what's there (a piece of furniture, a knick knack, etc.) tells a story that everyone in the house will understand, but I won't... unless I ask. I love that aspect of families. The history. The affection. The fondness.

Although I realize in 3-4 years, we could be residing somewhere else. I've also faced the fact that it's put any further education plans I have on hold. Instead of spending money on my college tuition, we'll be saving, saving and saving for the possibility that we might be moving to central California. In which case, housing costs will be 4 times what they are here. This gives us time to plan.

It also means that this morning we took advantage of the low interest rates and refinanced our house. We put more money into it. We dropped our interest rate two points, and we lessened it from a 20-year mortgage to a 15-year mortgage. It was all very grown up.

Following the signing of our mortgage (our fifth in 10 years -- since we've refinanced this house twice now in the three years we've owned it), we took my car into the shop for a 20k mile inspection. I've owned the car one year and one week. MacTroll has owned his car for six years, and he's at 26k miles.

Tonight after dinner at Kofusion, I took MacTroll to the mall. We were trying to remember the last time we went shopping together just for us, without one of us having X-man and the other running around trying to get things done as fast as possible... We couldn't remember. There was a glimpse of doing some kind of Christmas return at Bergner's once upon a time, but we both agreed, it wasn't shopping. It was a quick trade and go over the lunch hour. There was also a quick drive by shopping trip to Oakbrook when I was pregnant, so MacTroll could hit the Apple store and I could hit the Motherhood Maternity (before we had one in Champaign). But we weren't really in the same store together.

In fact, the last time we went shopping together was when we lived in D.C. somewhere between 1999 and 2003. Tonight, MacTroll got a new pair of jeans -- not from the Gap Outlet, which is a first. He also got a new grown up dress coat.

I struck out at trying to find wide calf boots. But my husband actually voiced an opinion, which I agree with, which was: "Go all out, or go home." So, here I am searching the internet to see if we can have wide calf and at least 3" non-wedge, non-chunky heel.

But it was still nice to have someone to go with, and I'm liking the fact that he and I are doing much better at scheduling time together and talking to each other about things that matter rather than just about our day. You start to feel like you've got someone on your team, which is very nice.

Two "Tomboys" Wear High Heels

Last night my friend Minnie and I went to the High Heels at 5 Fundraiser at V.Picasso. I had been watching for a night when my life and this fundraiser would actually go together, because I was curious. The fundraiser raises money for different charities each time and has moved around from hotel restaurant to hotel restaurant. This was their fifth fundraiser. There are free appetizers and you get a free drink ticket for your $5 donation. Around 6:30 they start announcing door prizes. Some of them are really fun like for water parks or local spas. There's also a drawing for a chance to be chosen for a grand prize trip to the Caymans. (If you haven't eaten at V.Picasso yet, you should. It's a lovely date night or girls night out spot for tapas -- and the martinis are yummy).

But more exciting, to me, was to have a place to practice being a girl. I spent most of my childhood in speedos, tennis shoes or soccer cleats. I was outside all the time. I blew my nose in my t-shirt, had twigs in my hair (and lice in second grade if I recall correctly) and hung around with the three boys in my neighborhood. (One that would years later actually hit on me over Facebook implying he'd be happy to party with me when I was in town -- if I got his drift -- even though we are both married with kids -- classy. Defriend.)

Anyway, a lot of girls that I know have love affairs with dress shoes OR they just have a lot of shoes. I usually get by with 7 pairs, 4 of with are of some sport variety. Lately, ever since I lost the weight, I've been wanting to try different kinds of clothes, different kinds of shoes and -- heaven forbid -- make up.

So last night I played dress up. I got all dolled up in red, and I put on a pair of 4 1/2" heels that I bought online from Aldo. I had only been walking around the house to practice in them, so wearing them on uneven concrete surfaces was a challenge. I just kept whispering to myself, "Step on your heel not on your toes, step on your heels not on your toes." It worked. I had very little ankle shaking. And my friend Ian of the North sent me a video to watch about how to score the bottom of your heels with scissors so they're not so slippery and you can get some grip. (Thanks, Ian!)

Like me, Minnie has always been an outdoors kind of girl. She grew up a swimmer, and in the last year has become a runner. She's a diehard White Sox and Blackhawks fan. She's lithe and lovely. She showed up in a red tank top and a hot pair of jeans and a pair of adorable plaid heels.

"My flip flops are in my purse," she whispered to me as we were moving along in the registration line for the drawings and to make our donations. "Mine are in the car," I whispered back.

We grabbed our drinks and appetizers and found some comfy couch seating near the bar (since the table area in front of the mini stage was already filled up by 5:05 p.m.)

Then we chatted and met a new friend, who is an amazing woman, mother and artist. Suddenly, there was a man in a suit and a yellow tie and vest in front of me handing me a card. "Yeah, this one is for you. You get this for having (pause while he raises his eyebrows) great shoes."

I thanked him and grinned from ear to ear. The card was an invite to compete in the high heel contest at the end of the night. The moment was almost as amusing to me as when the little old man at the National Cathedral in D.C. asked me to help him out and then handed me a pitcher of holy water and pushed me down the aisle during communion to deliver to the clergy. I was just there to see my friends from Millikin sing. But there I was an athiest with holy water... and 10 years later... Loosey in a high heels contest.

Fifteen minutes later another guy with a tie was in our area checking out our shoes and choosing carefully.

There was a group of 3 women next to us that looked -- hot.

Finally he handed one to the woman wearing Leopard print pointy heels, one to me and one to Minnie. I handed mine back to him telling him I already got one. The earlier yellow tie guy came by and said, "Well, that might be a nice sign for you at the end of the night if we both chose you." (Nice that after one small sangria, I can't hold a card upright... good thing I sobered up before the contest, right?)

Alas, neither of us was chosen as a finalist. :-) But it was still very fun, and I was pleased that we were able to raise funding for 65 kids to visit Larkin's Place for free. Amy Armstrong's work for Larkin's Place is amazing, and I love what she's doing for the children in C-U.

In the end I did win a  door prize. One that I was least likely to use: a purple and gold Juicy Couture purse. (I think it'll hit consignment later today.)

But at least it wasn't the basket of Fannie May candy, which I probably would have tried to consume the entirety of on the way home.

I am totally looking forward to the next one. But for now, I'm excited that tonight is date night with MacTroll. I made 6 p.m. reservations for X-man to go to Little Gym, and 6:30 p.m. reservations for us to eat at Bacaro. I think there's a black skirt, red shirt and black leather caged shoes in my future.

Oh, and MacTroll's reaction to me suddenly being 5'11" last night. "I suddenly feel like Tom Cruise to Cameron Diaz in Knight and Day." It actually really weirded him out. Because his next sentence was, "I'm glad you're going out alone." -- So he wouldn't feel short next to me. Too bad those caged shoes are also 4" tall wedges tonight. He'll have to get over it.

He did get an ear full from me when I put the shoes on in the closet and he freaked out that they might be putting dents in the new wood floors. Seriously? Seriously? Of all the mammals in this house (including himself) he's worried about ME doing damage to the floors? In the 3 seconds he'd seen me in the heels (the first pair I'd worn out since I was in Toronto in March)? Puh-leez. And concern for the floors were his first reaction. Not, "You're hot." But "Don't wear those on the new floors, they'll make dents. I've seen it in the Apple office in Reston!"

Hoser.