An Anti-Social Mommy

Pre-pregnancy I was one of those horrible bitches who criticized people in the checkout line at Target. "Holy shit, if that were my kid, I'd go ape shit on his ass. Spoiled little brat."

Fast forward almost 5 years. And, um, my kid is frequently that total spoiled brat. MacTroll promised him they'd go swimming today. Except, apparently, he didn't check the time of the pool and let X-man keep putting him off. X-man was in "lie about" status. That is, he was splayed out on his back in his underwear on a Toy Story blanket in the middle of the family room watching "Busytown" and "How to Build a House." 

After I shoveled the walk and the drive and accepted my three extra large packages of The Company Store allergy-friendly reading pillows for the master bedroom and my Loosey room in the basement, I went inside and asked. "Are you guys going swimming or not?" 

There was no answer. So I got in my car and I drove to North Prospect where I dealt with crazy Target in disarray and picked up some household items. Afterwards, I went and laid down on some mattresses at Slumberland. They were having a giant sale on everything (such a shame most of their furniture is brown and I hate brown). So I picked up a full-sized mattress for the Loosey room daybed. 

When I got back two hours later, they were still in their jammies. X-man was doing a Spiderman puzzle. Then he wanted to do a Despicable Me puzzle. And then he announced he was ready to go to the pool at 4:30 p.m. The pool closed at 5 p.m. Too late.

Sob, cry (really it was a fake cry), screaming, demanding. I ignored it. Eff that. Seriously, there's a freaking hot tub in the backyard. You have your own HEATED swimming pool kid. Go use it. 

So, instead of getting the house to myself today for two hours to do some massive cleaning projects I wanted to get to, I had to leave the house to get things done.

Why? Because when I'm home, my child does one of two things. He either walks up and grabs onto me physically and refuses to let go and wants to make me his insta-playmate OR he ends up messing up everything I've just cleaned. And do a toy purge when he's around? Yeah, that's not possible. So, MacTroll was supposed to have my back here. But he was too busy trying to layabout on his own Saturday to really motivate the munchkin to go.

"He really isn't that bad," MacTroll says. "He hasn't thrown a fit in a store in a LONG time."

"That's because I don't take him to the store," I respond.

"Ooooohhhhh..."

The truth is that he really isn't that bad. It's just I go through periods where I want to be alone. I'm  not extroverted by nature. I'm rather introverted. I wish I was a wildly popular, social kind of gal. But the truth is that I am very careful about how I set up my schedule. Outside of work (which is work talk), I spend a lot of time alone, or in one-on-one or small group settings where I am most comfortable. And when one of those anti-social periods coincides with multiple snow days where I get no down time -- I get cranky. Hence the sudden, "What budget timeline?" situation with the Loosey Room in the basement. I want some furniture down there -- stat. So that the next time this happens, I can go hide in my little basement hole with my earphones on in a nice, warm, bright bed and a fun book and mentally check out for what little amounts of Loosey-only time I get. 

And I swear, since my child turned 10 months old I have NEVER, EVER thought badly of a mother in the checkout line at Target. If anything, I've tried to help the few times I've noticed others had trouble by entertaining the kid or picking up items a two year old has thrown on the ground in protest of not being able to put items on the belt. 

Seriously, I'm all for helping out other parents. Call me crazy, but I hope it comes back ten-fold, because there are days when I need all the help I can get.