24 hours

The last 24 hours have been hectic. I tried a new white bean and sage veggie burger recipe. It was meh tasting, but the whole thing pretty much flopped. So, I gave my son the hamburger bun to eat on his way to t-ball practice. Then after t-ball, we took him out to eat, where he almost fell asleep with his head on the table at 7 p.m. At home, we put him in the bathtub and then read stories as a family.

MacTroll went downstairs at 8:30 p.m. after we shut X-man's door (he wanted to play Legos a bit before bedtime) and found that Riley couldn't stand. MacTroll got out a can of wet food -- and the dog turned up his nose at it. MacTroll came upstairs carrying some clean laundry and crying.

X-man came out of his room and wanted to show me something he drew. He went downstairs with me to investigate. And sure enough, Riley was lying on the floor looking miserable with labored breathing. I went to pick him up and he screeched in pain. Then I called my network of backup, so that MacTroll and I could take him to the emergency vet.

With any sick or elderly pet or relative, you know you're close to saying goodbye. As I blogged earlier, I sat down with Riley and had that conversation. I know he can't answer back. But it made me feel square with him. I got out what I needed to get out emotionally. So, we got dressed, and Special K came over and got X-man back into bed.

I drove to the emergency vet. MacTroll was fighting back tears. I was pretty cool as a cucumber, until the vet tech came to the door to let us in. Then the tears started. I took a moment and got out the words to explain our situation. Then MacTroll put Riley down and he stood and actually walked into the exam room. We filled out the background info sheet. I'd been smart enough to bring all the drugs he was on. The tech went over it with us and then a very nice vet came in and sat on the floor with us. She listened very carefully to everything we said. She examined Riley and asked us what our goal was. Once she understood that his diagnosis was that he wouldn't be able to recover, but that we didn't want him to be in any pain, she wrote us a prescription for pain meds and they gave us the drugs there. Then we took him home. I gave him the full dose (it has optional dosing choices depending on if it's a good day or bad day), as suggested. The vet explained that with this kind of cancer, the pain would ebb and flow. Some days would be bad, some days would be good. I guess when the bad out number the good, MacTroll and I will have to have another conversation. And then there's always the huge possibility that his spleen could rupture -- followed quickly by death.

MacTroll spent the night on the couch last night in case Riley needed to go out. We hauled up his raised dog bed from the basement, so that he could sleep off the floor, but not high enough that he might hurt himself.

This morning, he was walking and eating really well. It was a good day. But I have to admit that when MacTroll left for his trip this a.m. there was this big part of me that was thinking, "Please don't let this turn out like Looseyfur, where the minute he left, her health disintegrated and I got left -- alone -- to euthanize her."

X-man helped me pick up the Tolono Book Drop in Savoy. In case you live in Savoy and didn't know, a new book drop is purchased and labeled and waiting to be installed near Prairie Fields Park. It should be there pretty soon. :-) We're going to be replacing the other Savoy book drop (it's kind of falling apart over there) and the one in Sadorus soon, too.

Afterwards, I got blood drawn for my follow up regarding my iron. The IUD seems to be doing the trick. Now that the spotting has gone away, I'm having a much lighter period. So, hooray. If my ferritin shows improvement that's good. If not, I get to go to a hematologist. Whoopie!

Then we went to the bank and grocery shopping and returned the book drop books down to Tolono. I tried to fix X-man lunch, but he wasn't interested. He did, however, get a 35-minute nap. My child refuses to nap. But when he gets tired, he loses all control of his body. He starts falling down and bumping into things. And by 12:30, he had fallen off his lunch chair twice, hit his head on the table and then fell up the stairs on this way to get his swim suit.

Instead of meeting our friends at the pool at 12, we didn't get there until 2 p.m. We swam until 3:30, when he finally got lunch at Panera and then did his "Final Show" at his Sports class at the Little Gym. He was wiped again when we got home, so he sat in front of the computer at PBSkids.org while I vacuumed the living room and kitchen, did dishes, laundry, took a shower and got ready for the Tolono Public Library Board meeting. While I was rereading documents, I got an e-mail from Next Gen inviting X-man into their Primary A class in the fall. I had no trouble writing back immediately that we had decided that Carrie Busey was a much better fit for him than Next Gen for kindergarten. I didn't elaborate on some of the issues, but I did reiterate that we loved our early childhood experience with them and the teachers that X-man had. I did find out that his stellar music teacher, Ms. Mary left. She's the inspiration behind him loving the Beatles, Willy Wonka, the Jackson 5 and Nat King Cole.

It was my first board meeting as Secretary. It worked out pretty well, but I have to go back through and edit my notes and then submit the final minutes to the library director for our next board meeting.

I got home to pill the dog again. They upset his stomach some, so he didn't want a Frosty Paw tonight. But he did really enjoy the Turducken wet food that MacTroll picked up for him at Prairieland Feeds. :-) He wolfed that down in his dinner before I left for my meeting just fine. I slipped him a pain pill, and now he's downstairs snoring.

Not much thought for reflection in a day like today. Other than I really hate cancer, but I really do appreciate all of my friends who help look after my little man, so that I can have some kind of semblance of a life. I know he appreciates having people he knows I trust around.

It's been a long mental day. Tomorrow is more focused on the physicality. I figure by Friday, I'll be totally ready for MacTroll to come home.