Mommy's Morning

In order to keep from being climbed on this morning, I locked the guest bedroom door last night. An act I feel is both acceptable and deplorable. Why wouldn't I want my son to run into the room and dive on me and hug me and demand Elmo and spend time enjoying things he enjoys? At the same time, maybe Mama can do with a morning where she gets to sleep until she wants to get up.

MacTroll says that X-man ran into our room at 6:30 a.m., saw I wasn't there and then ran to the guest room (MacTroll's snoring went on all night long again, so I was temporarily displaced). I woke to hear X-man trying to turn the handle on the door, and then Joel came and distracted him with a diaper change and reading in the big bed before they went downstairs.

Around 7:30 a.m. I heard "Bob the Builder" on the computer, so I got up and took a shower and got dressed in clean clothes. I wandered downstairs to find X-man playing with his Matchbox cars. I got a big hug, and then I suggested going out to breakfast before the 9 a.m. Sunday/Mom's Day Rush. 

MacTroll instantly gave me my Mother's Day gifts. An empty magnetic frame, a night-time mask for when I get migraines and a paper mobile. MacTroll got dressed and I struggled to get X-man into his pants. Then I tried to hold him still while MacTroll put on X-man's socks and shoes to shouts of "No!"

We drove to Le Peep and parked in front of the door. There didn't seem to be people waiting outside, which was always a good sign. We wandered in and gave our name and was told there was a 15-minute wait. X-man upon smelling the food went nuts, grabbed my hand and started pulling me across the restaurant. I tried to kneel down and explain we didn't have a table yet and would have to wait. He started to cry.

So I took him outside. He cried harder. I tried to explain that I understood he was hungry and frustrated. MacTroll had given him juice and goldfish crackers early in the a.m. because when he asked X-man if he wanted a full breakfast, the answer had been no. The problem being he doesn't really listen when you ask him. He just says no to get you to stop trying to make him listen to you when he's watching "Bob the Builder."

I tried to entice him to walk down to the bakery with me for a snack. But he just screamed and pointed at Le Peep (a sign he knows and fully appreciates their pancakes as much as his mother). I tried to explain again that we would be eating in a few minutes, but that we need to wait. He threw himself down on the wet pavement and cried and cried and cried. MacTroll tried to pick him up and talk to him. X-man threw his head back and out came the temper tantrum uncontrollable sobs shouting for me. 

The trick is that when he gets like this he doesn't want me either. Because in my arms, he screams and sobs and hits and struggles the same way as he does in MacTroll's. Except it doesn't kill MacTroll's back, legs and sides to try and control him. But I still respond to my baby calling my name and take him from his father. Since X-man wouldn't calm down, I told Joel to unlock the car and that we needed to go home. I hauled X-man into his car seat and buckled him in as he reached for the restaurant screaming and yanking on my hair.

Then I got into the front passenger's seat and started crying, with about five people standing outside the restaurant staring at me. 

Instead of going home, we ended up at Cafe K on Kirby Avenue. Mostly because I am so sick of being in my house I didn't want to go back. X-man cried all the way there. When we parked he shouted to get out of the car. When he saw we weren't at Le Peep he wanted to get back into the car. He cried in the restaurant (which only had two people in it). He threw his apple juice on the floor. When the food came, I told him it was hot, but he touched it anyway, and then screamed that it hurt.

I broke up the croissant in little pieces and blew on them until he could eat them. Once the food started going in, the crying stopped. Except when he decided to reach for more egg sandwich, which was still hot, and then it would start up for a few seconds. His belly full, he was suddenly happy again. He went and washed his hands with MacTroll and came back and wanted me to read him all of the signage on the front window. I called my mother and wished her a Happy Mother's Day. She's hanging out with my sister today and hoping Melissa will help her grade papers. (My mom teaches high school English up in Rockford.)

Then we went to Target to look for a birthday gift for X-man's friend Curious J. Hoping Target would cure all. It was empty. It was quiet. These are both good things. X-man ran away from me in the toilet paper aisle and headed toward the TV screens in electronics. Where he busted a move to Madonna and JT on the big screen and then was annoyed to find out that there would be no more music videos, only Target commercials for for the next five minutes.

X-man was great until it was time to leave the store. Then the temper tantrum came out again. I had forgotten my wallet, so MacTroll was paying while I chased X-man down in the boys clothing area and picked him up to take him out to the car. He struggled and screamed and pushed his hands against my face and his feet against my chest trying to get free. I put him down to walk. He cried harder and wanted a "Hug" (i.e. to be carried). So I picked him up and gave him a hug, and he immediately pushed me away and screamed, "Nooo!"

I needed some stuff for the CARE garden, so we went to Lowe's. MacTroll stayed in the car with X-man while I went in for the stuff. I ran around the rainy garden center looking for wooden stakes and plastic netting for the garden. On my way out I saw this bright green tree. It looked like Christmas. It looked happy. 

I was at the end of my special mother's day morning, where I "slept in" until 7:30 a.m; I wasn't going to get my family walk due to insane weather; I barely ate anything at the special breakfast; and I realized I was heading home from errand running to complete my final mother's day request to "get things done" i.e. clean my master bedroom and bathroom... Suddenly, I had a realization that I really fucking needed that damn happy tree. 

I grabbed it, ran it out to the car with my other purchases, stuffed stakes and rolls of plastic in the trunk and then very carefully seat belted my tree in the backseat next to X-man's car seat. 

A dwarf Alberta Spruce that only grows to be 5' tall and 5' wide. I bought it myself. I'll plant it myself. In the sea of things that weren't pleasant. It was the bright part of my day.