Kids are animals

So, it's a known fact by any animal owner that if you clean it your pet will either puke on it, poop on it or knock something over all over it.

I've been witness to this apparent fact for over 10 years. I cleaned our first apartment kitchen thoroughly when I was 22. I was so happy with the Ikea metal baker's rack we purchased to put our new microwave on. I splurged that day and bought "cat grass" for Clawdio and the old gray. They showed no interest in it whatsoever -- until I was done scrubbing the floor on my hands and knees. 

I grabbed a beer and went into the living room. Joel and I were watching TV and then I heard a scratching noise. I ran into the kitchen to see our shy cat, Clawdio, straddling the 9"x4"x4" planter THROWING the wet watered dirt and seeds across the room. 

Now most people would start screaming and throwing their arms. But I was fascinated. Mostly because our cat never acted this enthusiastic about anything. I got Joel to tiptoe over and he said, "Ooooooohhhh, Clawwwwdddddiiiioooo!"

The cat stopped in it's tracks, dirt all over its paws. Then it ever so slowly turned to face us with a "oh shit" facial expression that transcends species. We laughed, he ran by us, I handed the broom to Joel and went to watch more TV. 

Similarly, we celebrate "Clean Sheet Night" in our house. It happens every week. I shuck the old sheets off and put on new ones. And it's as if the pied piper led all five cats and our dog to our room. They all wait until we get settled and then curl up with us. Because, damn it, those sheets don't have animal hair on them! I think they think this is what they get paid for...

Well, my kid is a complete animal. No matter what I spend my day cleaning and picking up, he zeroes in on the space and undoes all the cleaning I do. Today, I did a lot of laundry. It was all X-mans, mine and household (sheets and things). I scooped the cats. I picked up and vacuumed the basement. I vacuumed the basement stairs. I did two loads of dishes, picked up X-man's room and packed for our trip tomorrow. 

This was no small feat with a 2 year old under foot. I even served the little man hot lunch. Sure it was only grilled cheese and chicken noodle soup. But he's into cooking, and he helped butter the bread and I let him stir cold soup for a bit until I was ready to warm it up on the stovetop.

Anyway, right now, I'm upstairs in the living room listening to X-man "rediscover" the playroom downstairs. And I know when I go down there it will be trashed, and it'll take me 20 minutes to convince him that he should be the one to pick it up. 

Sometimes I think he forgets he has toys down there. He only seems to remember when we have friends over. But I've been rotating the toys in the living room a bit, so he was excited to see the music toys come up. We've been jamming a bit today, in between building towers and garages for Mr. The King (from Cars).

I'm off to watch the IT Crowd. If you haven't seen it, it's a British sitcom. I believe they want to make a U.S. version and carried one of the guys (Moss) over the pond for it. 

But Roy reminds me of a certain IT friend I have. So I find it particularly entertaining.