Eureka!

Today in my Infants and Toddler class we watched a short, 25-minute film on toddlers (kids 12-24 months). This is a movie they should show parents about a week before the first birthday party for their child. They should show it again at 18 months and again at 24 months. By the time the child is 3, the parent sits there, as I did -- chuckling. 

25 minutes of children pulling hair, biting, grabbing things from each other, avoiding hugs, giving more hugs than friends want, throwing things, making noise to see how noisy they can be, refusing diaper changes, pushing, hitting, shoving... and how, as an early childhood educator, you should deal with it.

X-man spent 3 months in his toddler room having periodical episodes of biting. He then had three major speech development times when he bit out of frustration because of his failure to be able to find the words.

And each time, as a parent, I was appalled, embarrassed, afraid. I just wanted the behavior to stop. By the time he was 2 1/2 X-man was pretty much done. Unfortunately, his last bite was on Pretty Girl's cheek. 

Now that I'm taking these classes I'm starting to realize how vastly normal he his. He has some definite strengths. He's amazingly capable on a playground. He enjoys painting and talking to people next to him while he's working. He is mostly using his words when interacting with people of all ages and sizes. But he's not the wonder child. He has huge tantrums when I say no. He still doesn't want his diaper changed, but isn't interested in the potty. And, if he's soaked his pants with urine, he doesn't even care to mention it. And on the days when "No!" isn't his favorite word in his vocabulary -- he just doesn't answer at all. And nothing drives this mother more crazy than being ignored.

The more experience I'm having with kids, the more I see how different they each are because of their temperaments. But the more experience I have the more I also see how very much alike they all are.

MacTroll said to me the other day, "It's like they're all running plays from the same playbook, and each parent has to crack the code."

I'm hoping by the time I get to 5, I'll be chuckling at 3... by time he's 24, I'll be chuckling at 21... Maybe, just maybe, I'll improve my learning curve, but I'm not betting on it.