He bites out of frustration and in self-defense (Not that this excuses the behavior). Someone takes a toy from him and instead of using his words he goes straight into the physical, because he's better at it. We've been trying to teach him to use his words, but I think with all the recent changes he's been having a hard time adjusting.
MacTroll's been at work a lot over the last couple of months. He has to say goodbye to his beloved ba-ba. He just started a new class with new teachers and new kids, where the kids use the potties and full sentences and can do things a lot better than he can. In the toddler room, once he was the "older kid" he had a confidence, and his behavior improved.
We try to use a lot of words at home. And, of course, we're still using the "If you are violent you'll sit and be silent." But since that post, I've only had to use it three times, which isn't too bad, considering I know usually kids can be in time out multiple times a day and that's completely normal.
I know the behavior is typical. The school says it's pretty normal for toddlers, the pediatrician, the parenting books, the child development web sites. They all say once he learns to use his words things should get better. But I feel terrible about the whole thing and just want it to stop.
When I got the write up from the teacher, who was very, very good about everything, I felt really guilty. I felt like I was doing all I could do being the primary caregiver and discipline giver because of MacTroll's frequent absences. I ended up crying all the way home, where MacTroll gave me a hug and then X-man joined in. As it is, I ended up 3 points over my daily budget yesterday, but in the plus column, I hadn't used any of my "flex points." So I don't have a lot of guilt, but I did acknowledge the reason I was eating was because eating makes me feel good, and I was feeling pretty sad about my kid hurting other kids.
I have to work on that.
As for X-man, at school he's in the "penalty box," (as I call it). He sits right next to a teacher at all times, so he can be watched. He had a good day today, which made me feel better. But still. I know it's probably going to happen again.
P.S. Can it stop raining long enough that I can cut my grass again and stain my fence?
P.P.S. One week until Quigs moves to the hood. I'm very excited.
4 comments:
I felt really bad when Rowan went through his biting stage too, I was actually glad when the other boy bit him back, just because then I didn't feel like it was all my fault. how long do they keep him in the "penalty box?" That's kind of funny :) I'm sure he'll adjust soon.
I'm crazy excited, too! You know you're gonna be kicking yourself for ever bringing me to the bonus room house 'cause you're stuck with me now.
And I know it's even ridiculous to say, but try not to worry about X-man and the chomping. He's getting so good at using his words, and before you know it, he'll be sitting the other kid down and lecturing him on the fine nuances of patience and sharing. It'll be okay.
Yeah, Henry bit and was bit. We talked and talked about it. At one point we sent him to school with a chew toy for if he got the urge to bite - but the teachers put it in the cubby where he couldn't get it. Eventually around 2 1/2 it stopped.
When Henry was potty training at daycare one day he purposely peed on a whole pile of books. That was mortifying. I replaced them all even though the teachers didn't ask me to.
You are doing the best you can. I can definitely empathize with the hole that stress causes that food can fill.
mealyworm is a biter. i am surprised more when I don't get a form than when I do. i feel bad too, so we try to emphasize "using our words" all evening long. :)
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