Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Looseyfur likes the drama-free zone

I am guilty. I admit it. And I'm not proud of it. I'm guilty of passing judgment on fellow parents, when I have no right too. Because I've made assumptions that other parents' lives are better than mine, that because their body or their faces are a certain way they must be having a better time of it out in the world... and I know this is bullshit. 

But I also know where it comes from -- my own insecurities created by a long history of fucked up cultural assumptions and being told over and over (by the people who are supposed to support you the most) that I can't do something because of A, B or C. 

I look too much into people's comments. I think too much. I create drama where there wasn't drama before, when I know for a fact that I don't have time for drama. Life gives me enough without me needing to make shit up on my own.

(Ah, clarity after two beers at bookclub.) 

This isn't to say that I'm not allowed my opinions. I'm just saying I want to keep my laid back, low maintenance ways. This all comes up because I was reading a message board for my other Meetup.com online group for Organizers of parent groups from around the world before going to bookclub.  It's got a message board FILLED with membership drama. And I'm scared to death that at some point down the road the crazy stuff I've been reading about will happen in my cozy little CARE group. Who knows? Maybe it already has. Maybe there are people otu there seething and I don't know it. But for right now... 

I am so happy. I  had a fabulous time tonight at book club. I enjoyed my old and my new friends. It was perfect for me. 

I want to continue to enjoy everyone as much as I did tonight talking about our crazy fat girl, postpartum depression suffering, hanging with the stars, entertainment columnist heroine... until the evening descended into a variety of side discussions about toddler eating issues, getting rid of the pacifier, work schedules and my favorite, planning a meet up of "adult items."

(How that one got started, I'm not sure. I just know that somehow I was confused (thinking maybe someone was talking about having a bachelorette party or something like that where those things sometimes happen.) Then I realized it was something being advocated on the calendar and, yeah, I blushed. 

I had a great night out. I really needed it. It's getting me so much closer to Friday when Joel comes home. Thank you friends for all the drama-free fun tonight. 









4 comments:

Quigs78 said...

Thank YOU! I was trying to tell N about our conversations and how much fun it was, but he didn't understand. It was such a release and I feel so relaxed and happy now. It's amazing what a couple of hours with awesome women can do for your mood! It's like my St. John's Wort...

Lavender Lemonade said...

I'm so happy and so surprised everytime I come home from a Mom's meetup. It is so much fun. And each time I meet another new friend or two.

But I know what you mean about making drama out of life...I have a really bad habit of turning a mole hill into a mountain, until I'm like paralyzed by indecision. Not good. I'm working on it. :)

Amy said...

I have the same irrational thoughts and insecurities about how my life stacks up to everyone else's and how, maybe, I'm missing out on something because of decision A or detour B in my life. Things kind of suck right now but all I do know is how I really love (and need) to get out of the house once in a while and talk with such amazing, talented, funny women and reconnect with a part of myself that, all to often, gets neglected. So "Thanks" to you and the other ladies for an awesome night!

~rachel~ said...

Wow I really need to come to one of these, I feel like I miss everything!! I work with two women who are filled w/ drama- and they are sisters so it is awful, I am really looking forward to being done with work!