Ode to My Ass

Two months ago, I asked for a commitment from my body to slowly start working on regaining the habit of exercising most days of the week—something I hadn't been mentally ready for since 2005. I promised my body that I wouldn't let my head talk me out of going, and at the end of six weeks, I would make exercise a habit.

Well, I've done well. I've gone to the gym 5 days of the week most weeks, a couple times I only snuck in 4 works outs and only when I was down with a respiratory infection did I only manage 3 workouts. 

But I have to honor one body part above all the others for staying with me through the hard work and dedication. I am thrilled by the results she has achieved and that she has the endurance and willingness to put up with an hour on a recumbent bike one day, 40 minutes on an elliptical machine another day, zumba class, strength training class... and where my shin splints screamed out in pain from using the treadmill yesterday, this part of my body powered through and reminded the capillaries in my torso area how to do their jobs.

To my ass, I thank you. I have no idea if your overall size is shrinking as you and I both hoped, but I know your muscle tone is improving. I also know that you look plenty fine in my boot cut jeans from the Gap. I know this, because every day after I work out, I can't help but check you out in the mirror on the way into the locker room. Really, I don't do it to just make sure you're still there. I'm sorry if it's offensive, but I enjoy objectifying your assets.

So, I raise my Nivea Q10 lotion in your honor. Here's to our continued commitment to overall health -- and here's to hoping that your success and dedication spreads to other places like your neighbors Ms. Hips and Mr. Thighs. 

I love ya, babe.