It doesn't happen at school. It only happens when he spends time with me and his playgroup.
I know biters aren't "bad kids." They just can't communicate their emotions well enough to negotiate on a playground, which is normal during the toddler years, blah, blah, blah.
But what I'm internalizing this as is a big part of my own personal failure as a parent.
10 comments:
You are not a failure! Kids like to bite...humans like to bite. Most kids its a phase...give him something safe to bite. My 4yo bites his fingers...a lot. Good luck.
I have no advice about the biting situation. We have other behavioral issues, like throwing things and kicking.
But I know you're not a failure as a parent. And you know it, too. X-man is a good, smart, sweet kid who hugs and tickles more than he bites.
And we all know labels suck, and it's not fair to X-man to put him in the biter box. But you've had a rough day, so I'll let it slide.
*hugs*
Audrey went through a phase of biting and I felt TERRIBLE. It seemed she *only* bit her best friends. Which made me feel worse - we both loved the kids she was biting and I didn't understand it.
'Time out' didn't really help...but time did. A few weeks and the behavior was gone. I know how hard it is when you have to refrain from socializing, so take it easy on yourself! Take him to play with mean kids you don't like, haha.
I guess I just always hoped he'd forever be the lover and never the fighter.
Maybe if I had another kid at home this would be less depressing because I'd be used to seeing frustrating social interaction -- but then those would be my kids and not other people's.
I think small groups is gonna be key. Areas where it's easy for me to watch him interact and keep an eye on him.
You are not a failure--you're an AWESOME mom! I'm so sorry that you're feeling like a parental failure because of the biting tendencies. K went through a biting phase, and I agree with justamom that it's most likely a phase and before you know it, in a few weeks you'll be looking back realizing that that your sweet little man hasn't isn't biting anyone anymore.
As a side note, is X-man perhaps getting his 2 year molars right now? K is always a big biter when he is working on some teeth.
Hang in there, and remember, you're a fantastic mom!!
(Okay, this has NOTHING to do with your biting post - but holy cow! Look at you with your new sexy mama pic! That's hot!)
I noticed JB go through a biting phase right before he could express himself verbally. Then once he broke through and was able to communicate using his words it was much better. Maybe X-man doesn't know how to express, "Hey, this isn't fair" or "Move out of the way I want to go down the slide" etc... So biting is fast and effective =)
Hang in there! You are a great mom and this too shall pass =)
Don't sweat it so much girlfriend. X-man is smart, he will change his ways. He just needs to learn alternative ways to get his needs across. Work on some role play at home and when you're out at playdates...kids love to say 'NO' and 'MINE' both of these are better ways to deal with toy situations that inevitably arise. This has nothing to do with you, its X-man, its him coming into himself and learning that he can change the circumstances. He's becoming a big boy and he will learn that there are other, more productive ways to get what he wants. Just keep working with him. :)
Like all the others have said, you are so not a failure as a parent!! X-man is a typical toddler and toddlers bite. In my class, we had a boy who was an extreme biter. He had one girl that he targeted and he would bite her almost every day. More than once, he bit her hard enough to not only draw blood but to take chunks of her flesh. It got to the point where we had to have an adult with him literally every moment of every day to protect the other kids from him.
And if it makes you feel any better, at least he hasn't beaten someone with a battery operated chain saw like The Boy did when he was that age! That was a joyous call from daycare, let me tell you.
Rowan was biting at daycare for awhile and I felt awful too, I didn't really know what to do about it, but you are still a good mom!!
I think what finally got Rowan to stop was when the boy he usually bit, bit him back- and it was bad he had a bad bruise for quite a while, he still talks about it. It's been a good was to remind him that biting hurts!!
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